Virgil in the Chow Hall

Today I ate lunch with one of the cooks who attends the "Dead Poets Society" meetings here on Tallil. We were talking about how things have changed for us--he is in the group going home before Christmas. He is sad about going home early as are almost everyone I know who is leaving. They all wanted to be here into the next tax year so they would earn more tax-free money and begin next year with combat pay. I, on the other hand, would leave tomorrow with no regret about my tax status.

This led us to the trials of faithful Aeneas as recorded in Virgil's epic. All of us wish we could identify with Aeneas, his troops, and even his enemies. They face danger with no regret. When they die they are brave to the final moment. We don't get a lot of chances to face real danger and we hope we will do it well. But the gods in the epic--we know them. The generals and political leaders above them are the gods in our story. They are powerful, able to move thousands of soldiers at their will, but like the Roman gods, they all have a specific territory they are in charge of. When they step outside that territory another god will fight them, or appeal to Jupiter to settle the dispute.

So a big group of us train together, arrive together, serve together, then at the stroke of a pen, most of the group goes home a month early--including the Christmas holidays--and the rest of us stay here as planned. It all makes sense to someone in Baghdad with a big map, but to us it all looks arbitrary and territorial, like the gods in Virgil's Aeneid.

Before some of the extreme beliefs of the 18th century became the mainstream of the late 20th and early 21st century, most well-educated people read "The Consolation of Philosophy" by Boethius. This book, written in the 6th century AD, may be the best ever written on how Destiny or Providence can guide an individual life in a world dominated by chaos. Our world is contingent, chaotic we live by faith daily even when we don't want to, and yet some people follow a destiny laid out by God.

The Greeks and Romans imagined the world as dominated by a chaos, with the gods making the chaos worse in many cases, yet the greatest men were guided by the fates--predestined to greatness. Boethius shows how this works in a Christian believer's life. The main difference is that only those of high birth and merit had a destiny in the Greco-Roman world. In the Christian world, it is quite the reverse. Those who most fully focus on doing the Lord's will, and usually being notable failures in this life, find God's will most fully. Mother Teresa's intent to love and serve lepers in Calcutta eventually led to fame for her, but she began as lowly as possible and was exalted for it. Reading Virgil and Boethius reminds me that a program with great ambition for control and power in this life, even with a designer Christian label, is aiming at the Roman heaven of senators and generals. The Christian Heaven of the Man of Sorrows is in another direction.

4000 Miles in Iraq, 6000 for the Year, So Far

With just 49 days till my 2009 spreadsheet is closed out, it is time for a mileage update. As of last Sunday, I have more than 4,000 miles in Iraq. Although I ride some miles that are not circuits of the air base, and many interrupted circuits, it is a safe bet at this point that I have made close to 300 laps of this dust bowl. Right now I am 13 miles short of 6,000 miles total for the year. Sometime tomorrow, the odometer should click over to the next 1000-mile interval.

While my heel feels better, my running is way down from last year. But my shoulder is recovering well and my back is holding up just fine despite wearing body armor on flights. So far this year I have done 10,547 situps, 8365 pushups and 705 pull ups, but who's counting. We have a PT test sometime this month. Because I am over 55, I do not have to run. For my aerobic test, I can either run, walk, swim (if there was water) OR RIDE THE BIKE!!!! No kidding. I'll take the bike. I have to ride 10km (6.2 miles) in 28 minutes to pass. And since the bike is pass fail, the score I get is the average of my other two events. I think there is a chance I will be able max the test. In any case, I should get a good score, I have ridden 10k in 16 minutes in the US, so 28 minutes should be very easy to do.

The Biathlon is two weeks from today on Thanksgiving morning. I have no odea what the attendance will be.

Veteran's Day Ceremony--Emcee Again

The garrison sergeant major asked me to emcee the Veteran's Day program last week so today I had another opportunity to host an event and speak. The talk is below--shorter than the last one, really an intro to the day. Most of the program was music and it was really good. The program began with a solo for the national anthem, then a trio who sings acapella sang Amazing Grace. I wish I could describe how well they sing.
After two of these I will be homesick for Army events. To all of my friends for whom some of their job is organizing events: Nancy, Audrey, Sarah, Brigitte, Kristine, Bob and Rick--just try to picture having eight speakers and performers who show up early for each rehearsal, who practice their talks and performances, who speak politely to all of the event staff, who are happy for the opportunity to be part of the performance, an audience that actually shuts off or ignores their phones and Blackberries. I could go on, but you get the idea. With a group like this last-minute changes are a breeze.
And like last time, the event started precisely on the minute, you'll see why in the talk. Everyone performed as we rehearsed. No one went over time.
What a great day.
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Welcome to the Celebration of Veteran’s Day on COB Adder. I am Sergeant Neil Gussman of Task Force Diablo.

This ceremony began at the 11^th minute of the 11^th hour of the 11^th day of the 11^th month—exactly 91 years after the Allied Armies accepted the surrender of Germany marking the end of World War One in 1918. This terrible conflict killed and maimed millions of soldiers. France suffered worst. The war was fought almost entirely inside her borders. This beautiful country had a population of 60 million when the war began in 1914. Four years later a million French soldiers were dead, five million were wounded. This global conflict introduced the world to many of the most horrible weapons of modern war. In 1916, the Germans had the infamy of being the first to use chemical warfare, releasing chlorine gas from hundreds of cylinders on a clear morning in Belgium and killing thousands of mostly French troops who did not know that the green cloud rolling toward them meant agonizing death, until it was too late. Using aircraft to bomb troops and civilians began in World War One. Tanks made their terrible debut on the battlefields of this war. When the First World War ended it was called “The War to End All Wars.”

It wasn’t.

But this horrible war with millions dead led our nation and other nations to honor not only those who died for their country, but those who lived to enjoy the freedom that their service gave to all of us. That is why we are here today, to honor all those who have served before us in Iraq and Afghanistan, to honor those who served in the Gulf War, in Panama, in Lebanon, in Somalia, in Viet Nam, in Korea, and in World War Two. We are also here to honor each other. Everyone who wears the uniform in this room is a veteran. We are all members of an exclusive club. If you add together every soldier, airmen, sailor and marine including National Guard and reserve, there are less than two million men and women in uniform. That is less than two-thirds of one percent of the US population. It’s the same number of US citizens who hold PhD degrees in either the arts or sciences.

So enjoy the program. Make this the day you thank the veteran sitting next to you for his or her service. Maybe call that uncle or aunt you haven’t talked to for a while who served in the Gulf War or Viet Nam. Thank them for their service.

From this old soldier who enlisted during Viet Nam, thank you for your service.

How Do We Fight This War?--What Makes the TOC Tick?

First Lt. Carina Ballard likes her job best when things are not going precisely according to plan.

“I really like my job when things go wrong or, better still, when I can prevent things from going wrong in the first place,” said Ballard, 26, of Granby, Conn. She is a battle captain in the Tactical Operations Center of the 2nd Battalion, 104th Aviation Regiment.

First Lt. Carina Ballard, of Granby, Conn., performs a pre-flight safety inspection on a CH-47 Chinook helicopter. In addition to being a Chinook pilot, Ballard is a battle captain in the 2nd Battalion, 104th Aviation Regiment, Tactical Operations Center. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Neil Gussman)

“My job is all about contingencies and troubleshooting,” said Ballard. “When things go well, I am just waiting.”

Ballard may say she is just waiting, but the staff of the TOC is busy around the clock tracking every flight in the battalion, monitoring weather, monitoring security, updating higher headquarters and ensuring every mile of every flight is tracked and recorded from pre-flight to after-operations debriefings.

The tracking methods vary from the sophisticated Blue Force Tracker system, to sending updates to every other TOC in theater online through Microsoft Internet Relay Chat, or MIRC, to a large white board on the wall with the status of every mission updated constantly in dry-erase marker.

MIRC is a large chat room that allows TOCs throughout Iraq to keep each other informed of aircraft status and position. This is especially useful for MEDEVAC operations to track lifesaving mission progress which sometimes require transfer from one helicopter to another on a long journey from the point of injury to the best possible care.

The TOC itself is an open room with a row of large, flat-screen monitors on the wall. These monitors allow operations personnel to see weather across the region and the BFT position of active flights. One of the big screens can be tuned to Armed Forces Network TV to get current events.

On the other side of the room are a raised platform and a long desk with several computers, phones and monitors. The operations crew sits at this table facing the row of monitors and at two lower desks in front of the raised platform. The battle captain sits at the long desk near the status white board. Directly in front of the Soldiers are one to three monitors and laptop screens for various computer systems.

Looking from the service counter, the row of video monitors with their colorful displays and the operators at the phones and monitors, make the room look like a plywood, low-ceiling version of a NASA control room. At any hour of the day, the room can range from eerily quiet to buzzing with activity.

Late in October, there was an evening when the buzz of activity hit maximum. That particular evening three mission sets—each one consisting of two CH-47 Chinook helicopters—took off in the dark as usual and started to spread across Iraq with their cargo of troops and supplies. Within 15 minutes two of the flights were returning to COB Adder for maintenance issues.

The deck outside of the 2nd Battalion, 104th Aviation Regiment, Tactical Operations Center was built after the Soldiers arrived in Iraq in May. (U.S. Army photo by Sgt. Matthew Jones)

“We realized immediately that we had to recall the third mission set to get the first two back in the air,” Ballard said.

What began as a routine evening became a full-on maintenance emergency with three pairs of helicopters returning from three directions.

“One of the first pair of Chinooks could not be fixed,” she said. “The crew had to take their weapons and equipment to a spare bird while ground teams moved the cargo.”

The second pair of aircraft came back for a non-emergency repair, but one that would have grounded the mission. The answer to the problem was to switch one of the helicopters from the third mission set with one from the second. Again this meant two five-member crews moving guns, ammo and flight gear while ground crews moved passengers and cargo.

“I was on the phones and the radio non-stop for 90 minutes,” Ballard said.

Within an hour and a half, all three mission sets were back in the air and on their way to their destinations. It would be a longer night than everyone anticipated, but all the missions that night were completed.

“We didn’t get dinner for quite a while that night,” she said. “We were starving.” Like all the battle captains in the TOC, Ballard is a pilot. She flies CH-47 Chinooks as does her husband Seth who serves as a maintenance test pilot and maintenance officer in the battalion. The Ballards met at flight school and have been together ever since.

In addition to Ballard, the other 2nd Bn., 104th AR battle captains are Capt. James Cragg, Capt. John Hoffman and Capt. Paul Ward, UH-60 Blackhawk pilots; Capt. Nathan Smith, CH-47 Chinook pilot, and 1st Lt. Jason Collier, AH-64D Apache Longbow pilot.

The Amish Have It Backwards

No, I don't mean the buggies. The Amish are reputed to avoid getting pictures taken of them because they fear losing their soul. I think they are talking about the wrong end of the camera. Thirty years ago in Germany, I got paid to take news photos for the Army just like now. I had a lot of success. One of my pictures landed on the cover of Stars and Stripes. Hundreds got published.

Then I quit taking pictures. In fact, I don't actually own a camera. I have a camera in my cell phone and that has been enough. Everyone around me seems to have cameras so I let them take pictures. Over the last week I started to remember one of the reasons why I stopped. The camera hurts the soul of the photographer. It doesn't steal your soul--that might be better. But the more pictures I take and the better they are, the more I am "the guy with the camera."

Now when people have events they want me to take the picture. And they want me to take the picture they way they want it--which means the picture is going to suck anyway. It will suck in my $3000 camera (Army Property) instead of sucking in their $100 camera.

Why will it suck. Because inevitably, they envision a photo beginning with the BACKGROUND. Their goal is a tourist photo which includes themselves and all of the Ziggurat of Ur, or a square mile of desert, or an entire Chinook Helicopter. Which means the people disappear. YUCK.

I take photos: eyes first, then face, then enough of the rest of the body to convey attitude. I want to see someone through their work.

So the real problem is that I am becoming more judgmental than I already am. Cameras are harsh. People who look good normally can look bad in pictures. They look worse in my kind of pictures because I get close. I start to look at people through the lens and know before the first shot they will look bad. I know most people around me are happy with the photos they take. I would not have cared before I was shooting pictures four days a week. Now I am looking at them like they drink $3 boxed wine.

So if I am not careful, it will be me who loses his soul, from the back side of the camera.

Flags at Half Staff

All the flags on Camp Adder are at half staff to honor the dead at Fort Hood. One of the national guard brigades where a friend of mine works flies the Texas State Flag next to Old Glory. Last night at dinner she was saying everyone in her shop mobilized out of Hood and went through the facility where the shooting occurred. 

Many of the national guard soldiers are full time and work at Hood. They know people, civilians and military, who work at that facility and were frantic for a while wondering of someone they knew was a victim. No one was. It seems the victims soldiers getting ready to deploy. How horrible for their families to lose their soldier before he or she even gets on the plane. 

Earlier this year when an American soldier was captured in Afghanistan, most soldiers turned and watched the news when there was something about that soldier, then turned back when that segment was over. It has been that way since the shooting. If there is a report from Hood, people watch, if not they turn back to their conversation. 

The darkest comments are of the WTF variety "What the F#$k were they thinking when this scum bag was admiring suicide bombers on blogs and trying to get out of deploying." I was talking to another friend before this tragedy about chance and Providence. CS Lewis, following Boethius (The Consolation of Philosophy), says we live in a created world in which chance and randomness rule the lives of every creature except those who are following God's will for their lives. 

This may seem like abstract theology, but at times like this and 9/11 and other tragedies, if you believe the created universe is determined down to the movement of particles, then an event like this can only be God's will. A field-grade officer murdering his fellow soldiers is not God's will. The Lord gave us free will and at times like this I wish it were otherwise. But we are free to love, or not. So right now to this random act of violence we are all free to do the Lord's work in caring for the victims and their families.

Roomie--5 Time Zones Away

A few nights each week I wake up briefly when my roommate's alarm goes off. It goes off 3 or 4 nights each week at 0300!!! 3am. My roommate, Nickey Smith, is a squad leader in the motor pool and has to report to work by 0600. He wakes up at 3am to use the gym when it is empty. I go when it's crowded, but he really doesn't like crowds.

With my new job, I can sleep till 0700 if I want to eat the everything breakfast. I can sleep till 0800 if I want to skip breakfast. We get up 5 hours apart and we both work days--sort of. I work 9 to 6 then come back, eat dinner, work out or go to book groups, then work till midnight or later sometimes. So I can sleep late. Nickey has a fixed schedule. So when I come in the CHU to change at 6 or 7pm Nickey is sometimes already asleep. He is almost always asleep by the time I pickup my pack to go back to work at 9 or 10 at night.

If I work late enough I might be up for his alarm. Nickey is a great roommate. We each do our best to keep the room dark and quiet for the other. Nickey's locker divides the room so we each have low-power lamps we can use while the other one is sleeping. Most days, one of us is asleep between 8pm and 8am.

Right now Nickey and I are on sleep schedules so far apart it is as if one of us was in China and one in Iraq. Or one in Iceland and one Iraq. Five time zones is the difference between the east coast of the US and London, or between Chicago and Hawaii, Paris and Mumbai.