At most bicycle races, we deal with pre-race nervousness by riding to a tree and facing away from the road or waiting in line at a Port-A-Potty. At one of the most difficult races on the schedule in the late 90s, we had indoor plumbing.
The Mount Nebo Road Race was a nine-mile lap with a more than a thousand feet of climbing per lap. Race distances were three laps for Cat 5 to nine laps for Cat 1&2 on this very hilly course in southern Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
The race began and ended at the Marticville Elementary School. As start times approached, racers clicked down the hallway on their cleats to a boy’s room with three old-fashioned, full-length urinals.
Three urinals were bolted to the north wall. Morning light streamed in through the high windows on the east wall above the sinks. I stood in the line on the left side. There was a half-dozen men at each urinal. When my turn came, I looked down as I pulled at my bib shorts and saw a huge cockroach running around the drain.
Surprised, I blurted out, “What a big one!” I had spent 11 years in the Army earlier in my life. In a millisecond I knew how dumb my remark was. I finished what I was doing and walked out. In the hallway, one of my earnest master’s racer friends said, “Neil, you shouldn’t say that.” As if that was news to me.
It was nearly the end of the season and I was overseas every month for work back then, so I got less kidding about my gaffe than I expected. But I certainly know not to do running commentary on roaches in my urinal!
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