So many gay jokes spin through air in the motor pools on ranges and in the chow halls that I missed a common, but less crude use of the word "gay" in the military. (As far as I can see, the usage varies little from the Army among airmen and sailors stationed here.) Most gay jokes are put downs in which someone accuses someone else of being the passive partner in a homosexual act. So after a thousand or so of these jokes, it occurred to me that a different and also common usage was to ask if something was gay or too gay. In that case, the question was simply: am I making a decision based on emotion when I should be basing my decision on facts?
A senior sergeant asked, "Is that gay?" when he was asking me whether he should be concerned with the feeling of his adversary in a dispute over who should get a job they both wanted. The answer was complicated, but the question was simple: should I let feelings guide my decision or should I take the action that benefits me at his expense?
Of course, the underlying question is, "Am I being feminine when I should be masculine?" usually expressed as "Am I being a bitch?" so the use of gay is consistent with its more coarse uses. And since I am interested in language, my small insight led me to pay more attention to usage around me and I heard the "Is that gay?" question several more times in the days that followed.
So now I could ask myself, "Is it gay to pay attention to that kind of thing?" Except, I am not supposed to ask--or tell. And re-reading this post, the joke I was trying to make did not work either. Oh well.
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The same kind of language is prevalent even among elementary school children, despite all the diversity training they get, though they are still perhaps too young to understand the implications of the remarks. We all hear phrases that by some means or another have become commonly used or minutely socially acceptable in the mainstream, and then repeat them without forethought. A common slam among children and teens even today is "Oh that's so gay!" when someone does something that is outside the confines of the socially-accepted behavior for a particular group, and sometimes it's simply used arbitrarily to garner giggles and laughter. Another example, I used to tell lawyer jokes a lot, but I'm more sensitive to those and others as I have many valued friends and business acquaintances that are attorneys, men and women whose opinions, though sometimes contrary to mine, I still value.
ReplyDeleteTo the soldier concerned about the competition for the job opening, I don't think he need be concerned. Mankind is called to exercise compassion one for another and I don't think that considering the other person's feelings is "gay" but rather a character trait of a mature and compassionate mind. I think he would be doing the other soldier a disservice, however, to concede a position because he's worried the other soldier would be emotionally hurt, for whatever reason. Competition is tough business. The idea is to improve the quality of the company overall by selecting the best person for the job, the person with the right skill set and focus to do the best job. If he feels he is the best man for the job then he should do what he can ethically and honestly to secure that job.
I am curious, since Obama's stated intent to repeal the "Don't ask, don't tell" policy, is this subject of gays in the military being more openly debated or has Mr. Obama's decision made soldiers even more hesitant to discuss it and voice their opinions? Has the level of discomfort for all notched up a bit? Are the jokes and jibes increasing since his announcement or has it made others even more sentitive to the issue?
In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you that as a Christian I believe the homosexual lifestyle is morally, spiritually, and in a broader sense, socially destructive ultimately. From a biblical perspective, nothing good has ever come of it and the bible is clear on God's view of sexual immorality in whatever form it takes. It is with no little discouragement that I watch the news and see how the contentions here at home concerning gay marriage are increasing, and one cannot help but wonder what the social and even financial implications of legislation being enacted upon state and local governments and private businesses will do. There is also the concern over the fundamental condition of the family unit. And though I disagree strongly with those who choose that lifetyle, I am reminded that I am to do my job to the best of my ability, honestly and completely, irrespective of another person's beliefs or lifestyle choices.
Interesting observations
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in public school in the late 70s & into the mid-80s "that's so gay" was a very common slang term totally unrelated to homosexuality. We meant uncool, not hip, not trendy, out of style clothes, old fads gone out of fashion, babyish, substitute for 'a loser', silly and a number of other things. We'd refer to music as gay (uncool), last year's fad clothes as gay, acting odd as 'being gay' and lots of stuff.
ReplyDeleteWe all knew what gay/homosexual was but the term was nothing to do with that.
I have no clue if the term is used like that now. There is so much use of the term gay for homosexual now I wonder if kids still use the term in the other ways?