In Today's Sunday News

Jon Rutter wrote the final article about my Army adventure in today's Lancaster Sunday News (Local Section, Page 1)
Photos here


On the home front

Neil Gussman returns from Iraq, where he served the country in myriad roles, including base communicator.


Neil Gussman is back from the Army, at 56.

The Lancaster businessman has returned home after two years away from everyday midlife.

"Boy," the nontraditional sergeant quipped earlier this month, "it seems like I've been gone forever."

The military experience was rich, if sometimes exasperating, he added. And it was a lot different from his 12-year Army hitch that ended more than 25 years ago.

Back then Gussman was, among other things, a tank commander in Germany.

His more recent sojourn with the 104th General Services Aviation Brigade's Echo Company was covered in a series of Sunday News stories spanning nearly 2½ years. It included combat training at Fort Indiantown Gap and Fort Sill, Okla., followed by a 12-month tour in Kuwait and Iraq.

Gussman served at Tallil Ali Air Base.

He initially aspired to become a chemical weapons specialist and expected to pull weekend-warrior duty at Indiantown Gap. Instead, the Army activated his unit and deployed it to the Middle East.

There, as the war wound down, Gussman was given various tasks. He dispensed tools in the motor pool before getting assigned to photograph and write about life on the base.

His work appeared in several Army newsletters.

He loved the journalist job, especially flying aboard Black Hawk and Chinook helicopters during supply missions.

"The last few months have been really good," said Gussman, who downplayed the risk of living in a war zone.

"Hardly anyone fired a gun over there," he noted. "I fired my camera a lot."

Military life, examined
Still, Gussman admitted, "Iraq is more dangerous than New Jersey." Also, he wisecracked, the shampoo selection is scantier. And it's harder to obtain good fresh bread or feed his habit of following Formula One auto racing.

One of Gussman's first stateside projects will be to get himself to a New York City Jewish bakery.

He arrived in the United States Jan. 4, but could not immediately return to Lancaster, where his wife, Annalisa Crannell, and children have been holding down the fort.

First, Gussman and his friends had to go through three weeks of heel cooling at Fort Dix, the sprawling New Jersey Army base where overseas soldiers are processed.

It was a fit and squeaky-clean-cut Gussman who bicycled to the main gate on a recent Wednesday to greet some visitors. Dismounting and padlocking the bike to a post, the camouflage-decked soldier ducked into a car for a tour of his temporary digs.

GIs hiked here and there among low-slung brick buildings. The campus soil was sandy, the air piney. Big silver transports floated in and out of McGuire Air Force Base next door. Behind this purposeful facade, though, were grunts at loose ends.

A lone soldier slumped before a barracks TV, watching an episode of "Yes, Dear." In other areas, men and women were simply standing in line.

That was true at the M.G. Robert Mills Dental Clinic on Doughboy Avenue, where Gussman traded last-minute banter with some departing buddies.

Sgt. Jeremy Houck, of Lebanon, who turned 32 that day, reported helping Gussman with "the problems that young NCOs [noncommissioned officers] have, you know. It was hard to tame him down. I struggled through it."

Thirty-one-year-old Nickey Smith, of Connecticut, allowed that Gussman was a good man to share an air-conditioned trailer with, but a big contrast to Smith.

The younger soldier likes watching movies and listening to music in his down time. Gussman, who coordinated a book club in Iraq, prefers reading and writing.

"Nickey was worried about me culturally," Gussman said, and so he introduced Gussman to such films as "Full Metal Jacket" and "Batman."

"His typing skills put me to sleep every night," retorted Smith, who had not been persuaded to take up literature. "I read a blog [posting] or two of his," Smith said. "That was a book in itself."

Indeed, Gussman's latter-day Army life did not go unexamined.

He calculates that he's written about 75,000 words on his blog, armynow.blogspot.com, and recorded nearly 50,000 visitors since June 2008.

The site reveals Gussman's fondness for tallying. He figures he rode a succession of bicycles 5,200 miles while in Iraq, for example, competed in four bike races in the United States and the Middle East, read 15 books and bought hundreds of Green Beans lattes in Kuwait.

Gussman's work has attracted wide media attention; The New York Times profiled one of his stories this past Thanksgiving.

Lt. Col. Scott Perry, Gussman's commanding officer, tuned in with relish.

"Sgt. Neil Gussman is an eclectic series of mutually unsupporting disciplines, dichotomies and passions that somehow have blended into an exceptional communicative force," Perry wrote in the unit newsletter.

Back home, Scott Haverstick, Gussman's bicycle racing partner, also has been reading.

"Very interesting for those of us who would not be inclined to do anything like this on our own," Haverstick commented.

Haverstick said he admires Gussman but continues to puzzle over why his friend's desire to serve God and humanity "would manifest itself in this particular way.

"I hope he's done" with combat regions, said Haverstick, adding that he's also curious about Operation Iraqi Freedom's long-term effect on Gussman.

"Everyone seems to be changed by their tour of duty," Haverstick said.

Last week, though, Gussman seemed his usual eclectic self.

He said he plans to soon climb aboard a commuter train and return to work as a writer at the Chemical Heritage Foundation, an industry museum and library near Independence Hall in Philadelphia.

"I might write about some of the stuff I can't write now," he promised in his blog.

He'll have to get used to riding his bike without an M-16, and he can forget all about the 130-degree temperatures and blowing grit he faced in the Iraqi desert.

He'll stay in the Pennsylvania National Guard reserves until he gets booted at age 60. But he said he might head overseas again, if he could reprise his role as a journalist.

His unit will be activated next in 2012 — the year Gussman turns 59 — "which would be the absolute last minute I could go," he said.

"I would definitely go back. I know some of my friends think I'm crazy, but ..."

Back to Work

Before returning to work on Tuesday, I had a couple of articles to finish. On Thursday I finished an article for On Patrol: The Magazine of the USO writing on the train to and from New York. Last night I was writing my next column for "We're History" in Chemical Engineering Progress magazine. I am revising it now as the clock strikes midnight and will be up for another hour.
(Update through the magic of internet revision, I was up till 2:30am rewriting to include an explanation of why snails have blue blood.)
So I really am back to work--writing about weird topics at weird hours.

An Old Friend's View of an Old Soldier

On the way home from New York City Thursday night, I called Abel Lopez, one of my two best friends from when I was on active duty in the 1970s. If I haven't mentioned him before, Abel left active duty in 1978, a year before I did. He was the commander of the tank next to mine in Bravo Company 1-70th Armor in Wiesbaden. We talked a lot about faith and about life, the universe and everything when we served together and have kept the conversation up for past 32 years. 

Abel and I seldom see each other, but talk every month or two about our current views of the same things we talked about back in Germany. He went home to Chula Vista in San Diego County and became a Federal Fire Fighter. He recently retired from the fire department. I talked to Abel on the 100-mile drive from Trenton to Lancaster, from just over the Pennsylvania line to my driveway. If you think it is wrong to talk on a cell phone while driving you should stop reading now. 

Anyway, the first thing Abel asked when I got on the phone is what I think the summary of my year in Iraq is. "I don't know," I said. We talked for a long time. He, like my friend Meredith Gould, think I went a very long way to prove L. Frank Baum (Author of the Oz books) was right, "There's No Place Like Home." One of my goals in going to Iraq was to become less tied to the life of luxury I was leading. 

That didn't work. My previous posts on the things I have done, bought, etc. since my return to America make it pretty clear that self denial is not one of my strengths. Abel thought that if I write a book about this year, it ought to be for all the people he sees in California who get to be our age and think they can reinvent themselves. They need to figure out how to do the best they can with who they are. And given the considerable lengths I went to in finding out how much I liked my life, I could make fun of my self in a big way writing that book. It also fits with my sister's advice to write one of the currently popular "One Year" books. 

I do know now that joining the Army and serving in Iraq is a great way to clarify what you really want from life--at least it was for me. It also made very clear that goodness has so many forms that one life and one place can never support it all. It is yet another thing that draws me to life beyond this life. I love the beautiful, civilized, literate world I returned to. 

Today I went to the Evolution Table at F&M and enjoyed the conversation of 22 professors and local professionals about current developments in Life Science. Tuesday I return to work with co-workers who have an average of 2.2 college degrees. But I already miss the courage and laser focus I met every day among the men and women I served with in Iraq. I clicked my heels three times, I traveled a long way, but I can't figure out which end of the trip is Oz.

Adjusting to Beauty

Adjusting to being back "in the world" is an odd process with stops and starts. Today I was in New York. I drove to Trenton then hopped on a train and got to spend the day with several different interesting people. That part was just fine. But since these people were in different parts of the city I had several views of this vibrant metropolis.

The most jarring was the Brooklyn Bridge. I took the Park Street line to one of the most beautiful bridges in the world. I walked up the middle on the tourist path. There was a point where those cables sweep up in a beautiful arc--it is where the group of walkers are clustered on the right of the path in the photo above. At that point of the bridge I looked up along those cables. The sky was perfectly blue, not a cloud in sight. It was cold. The wind was blowing straight across the bridge deck at more the 20mph. The flag above the bridge pointed straight north.

I stopped and stared up for a long time. I walked a little further, but I was still staring so I stopped again. The bridge look so majestic and tall and clean. The sky line in every direction was brick and glass and steel. Planes and helicopters flew overhead. Boats made there slow way under the bridge in the shipping channel.

Everywhere I looked was a contrast to the low, dirt-covered, place I left. Trees and grass grew everywhere the concrete did not cover in New York. At Tallil the lawn was gravel. My senses were overloaded. I was in civilization. This is home.

Liars and the Dentist

Today I went to my own dentist for a check up and cleaning. They had a cancellation so I got in right away. As she was getting ready to clean my teeth the hygienist asked why I had not been in for more than a year after getting regular check ups. I told where I had been and she said, "That's the first excuse I have heard in a long time that I believe."

Then she asked me about how the war was going, but since she was cleaning my teeth while she asked, she answered her own question. "You never get the real story from the media. They just say what they want to. They make it up."

When she took a break I said I thought the media had a very tough job. "Many people they deal with are lying, shading the truth, and making things up. Reporters have to figure out what part of the things they say are true and why they are saying them. It would be like having patients who walked into your office, smiled and denied they had teeth. Or walked in with a broken tooth and said 'Nothing is wrong.' Or say 'flossing is proof that the government is trying to control our lives.'"

Going back to her earlier comment she said, "But patients do lie to me. I get people coming in after no check ups for five years saying, 'I was here last year.' and there records are right here on the counter. And people come to me with bleeding gums and say, 'I floss almost every day.'"

She went on to say that she can't tell the people who don't floss they are lying so she has to say something like, "Let's work on your flossing technique."

I came away with a new respect for the difficulties of her job. She also told me that when she gives the patients who neglect their teeth a thorough cleaning they go to the receptionist afterwards and say they do not want "that hygienist" because she hurts them. I hope looks at the media a little differently now that she knows how much news sources and dental patients have in common.

Adjusting to Life at Home

Yesterday on the training ride there is a place where we usually slow down as we turn from State Highway 441 onto a narrow road with a creek on one side and a steep tree-covered hill on the other. The hill is dark all the way up to a north-south ridge so if there is any sun it is bright on the top of the ridge and dark all the way down to where we ride the road. Just after we turned onto this road Matt Hollenbach said, "Neil, look up there, three deer, no four." I looked and there they were, right on the ridge line standing parallel to the road.

They were back-lit, standing still and silhouetted from their hooves to their horns. They could not be better targets if they wore orange vests with bulls-eyes. What I should have seen was how beautiful nature is here compared to the dust, rock and vermin that is nature in southern Iraq. But as I looked at the deer and the afternoon sun and the trees, my first thought was "Get off the ridge you idiots! One shot and you are dinner!"

I suppose it will take a while before my view of a natural scene does not include range, target description, and rules of engagement.

When I first returned to America after serving on the border in Germany, I would occasionally be driving along a country road and look at the fields and tree lines in front of me as fields of fire for a tank or see places where a tank could be "hull-down" with it's hull protected from direct fire but with a clear view for the gunner's sights.

Speaking of riding, I really prefer riding without an M-16A4 rifle on my back.

Back to Training Rides

On Friday I wrote about my first ride back with the daily ride crew. Today I rode farther and faster than on Friday. On the Friday ride at mile 20 my voice was gone and I was crawling up the hills. Today I rode fast enough to sort of keep up while the regular guys rode slower than usual. But even on the last nasty hill into Millersville I rode to the top of the hill steadily.

It will be a long time before I overcome a year of flat riding and get in shape for climbing hills. One additional incentive for me to get in shape for the coming season is a change in the age group divisions. For years the age groups have been even decades: 30+, 40+, 50+ and occasionally 60+. Next year the ages will be 35+, 45+ and 55+. I am 57, so I will be only two years older than the youngest guys in the race, not seven years older. So I won't be the old guy completely at the back of the pack. I might do OK in some races.