Still Love Modern Medicine

In my last post I wrote about the being invisible to medical people who are focused on their technology.  But yet again I have reasons to be a wildly happy fan of modern medicine.  The visit that led to same-day laser surgery was a follow up from a routine eye exam.  In that first exam, the doctor doing the eye exam caught a blood vessel problem in my eye that someone else might have missed.  The specialist I went to for the follow-up visit said several times that Dr. Wenxin Wei is very good.

After the the dye in my arm and many strange pictures of my eye, it turned out I had fluid in my eye and a build-up of fluid can lead to vision problems including blindness.  So far, they don't know what caused it so I will be getting more needles in my arm to figure out exactly what is wrong.  The specialist, Dr. Roy Brod, (whom Dr. Wei said is the best in the area) said they may not find a cause.  But in two months he will do laser surgery on the other eye so both are repaired.  

In previous posts I have written about the many ways I could have been dead or crippled without modern medicine.  This makes twice I avoided blindness.  

And that is just what makes the healthcare debate so difficult.  I owe my life and sight to expensive, innovative treatments that did not exist when I was a kid.  Without those treatment I would be blind, dead, crippled, or maybe all three.  With them, we all have to pay more and more for health care.  In principle cutting big-ticket healthcare seems like a good idea.  But facing blindness or paralysis, I think healthcare costs look very reasonable.

Being an Invisible Patient

On Tuesday I had an appointment with an eye doctor.  It was a follow-up appointment from a routine eye exam in December that found some blood in my eye.  The appointment was almost five hours long and ended with laser surgery and me leaving wear an eye patch.

Too bad it was not Talk Like a Pirate Day.

At one point in the exam, a technician put a yellow dye IV in my arm and took digital photos of my yellowed eyeball.  She had another technician with her.  The second tech was in training.  The two of them were looking at the array of eyeball photos on a large monitor.  In one of them they found the problem and were delighted.  They pointed at the problem and said how interesting it was and the direction of blood vessels and other fascinating details.

I was sitting five feet away.  By the way, I rode 20 miles before the appointment and was wearing spandex bike clothes.

Then they started discussing what would cause the problem they saw.  In their diagnosis protocol, the usual cause for the symptoms they saw was high blood pressure or diabetes.

One said, "He must be out of shape.  Look at that.  Probably high blood pressure."

My rest pulse is 58.  My blood pressure is 120 over 70.  I do not have diabetes.  But they were excited by the images on the screen.  So I had to have high blood pressure and/or diabetes, even if I didn't.

At this point I interrupted and said I didn't have high blood pressure or diabetes and that I am not in bad shape for my age.  Maybe something else could cause my problem?

Then they asked if I felt I had low energy lately or was feeling lethargic.  So I told them I ran five miles and did 75 pushups with my sons the previous evening.  I went to the gym for 45 minutes that morning and rode 20 miles to the appointment.

They decided I was not lethargic.

Later the doctor came in, said they were going to correct the problem in the left eye that day and the right eye two months later.  Sometimes they never find a cause.  He ordered blood tests to rule out infections.

I understand that people with complex jobs have to rely on protocols to interpret the vast amounts of data they deal with.  But it still is a strange experience to be discussed like a piece of meat.  Or an eyeball!

"Chill out will ya"

Ok.  Last post I was talking about my very noble friend who faced a choice between family and his comrades.  And I talked about choosing between two good things.  That was on the train going to work.  Now I am on the train home in the quiet car.  I sat next to a guy who seemed pissed off to share the seat.  Ten minutes after we leave the station, he takes a call.  I let him know we are in the quiet car.  His response is to say "Chill out will ya" and stomp away out of the car.

Which means, he is among the small but constant group of people who sit in the quiet car so they won't have to listen to other people's calls.  What they want is the "Quiet Except for ME Car."

As opposed to the person choosing between two good things and doing the right thing, these people--the ones who know very well they are sitting in the quiet car--want the world to revolve around them.  They have every opportunity to choose to do the right thing and choose to be jerks instead.

The Four Loves in Camo

No, I am not going to write about a soldier with four girlfriends (or she could have four boyfriends!).  CS Lewis wrote a book called The Four Loves about the four Greek words for love.  We lump all these words together in our one word Love.

In Greek the word Eros is romantic love, Philia is friendship, Storge is love among family members and long-time familiarity, and Agape is what we call charity.

Yesterday at lunch I talked to a soldier who volunteered for an upcoming deployment, then changed his mind when it looked like his marriage would end when the wheels went up.  His one-sentence choice was between deploying with his buddies or keeping his family.  He chose his family.

But The Four Loves makes clear why this is no easy choice.  Friendship and Romance are different kinds of love, but they are both love.  And both Friendship and Romance grow from a free choice we make of that particular friend or lover.  Of all soldiers we serve with, there are a few whose company we enjoy above all others.  Falling in love often begins with a moment in which we see our beloved and decide in a moment 'That's the one.'

Which puts Romance and Friendship in stark contrast with Charity and Family.  We do not choose our uncles, cousins, in-laws, children and even pets.  Families form from existing families, blending and adding to form a new family.

Charity is expressed best by God's Love for us and Mother Teresa's love for lepers.  God accepts us as we are:  needy, nasty, selfish and small.  Loving us does not show His good taste, but His compassion.  When Mother Teresa lifted a leper from a Calcutta gutter, she was not thinking 'This is the best leper in this gutter.'  She was expressing the kind of Love God has for us and wants us to have for others.

While  Romance and Friendship are a free choice based on our estimate of the value of the beloved, Charity and Family Love are freely given with no regard to value at all.  We love the child who didn't learn to tie her shoes till she was 12 just as much as the one who is on the honor roll and a starter on the soccer team.

All through my Army career, I have seen these agonized choices between two good things.  A man who is choosing between family and friends is torn by two kinds of love.  The toughest moral choices are not between Good and Evil, but between Good and Good.  And they hurt all the more because when we choose between two goods, we know we are hurting someone who does not deserve it.

More later.

Daily Inspections not acceptable

This weekend many of us went through an Aviation inspection getting ready for a visit by the Inspector General.  A warrant officer who is also a Blackhawk pilot is in charge of the security for the aviation facility.  Because this is a highly secure area, they conduct a 100% inventory of keys at the end of every day.

The inspection requires a semi-annual 100% inventory of the keys.  Our security officer showed the inspector the daily log of key inspections.  Since it says "Daily Log" the inspector said it was unacceptable.

Our security officer asked.  "If we are supposed to have an inspection on June 1 and December 1 could I give you the inspection sheets for those particular days?"

"No" was the answer.  The sheets are labelled Daily so they are unacceptable as Semi-Annual inspection verification.

In the area of key security, he was rated "Unsatisfactory."

Clearly, it is important not to accept daily inspections when a semi-annual inspection is needed.

Welcome to the Army.

First month in Iraq, fuelers set up at Camp Normandy

 Roomie, SGT Nickey Smith, goes to Camp Normandy with the fuelers.

Waiting for the bird

Luxury accomodations

 Nice neighborhood!

Commute is Getting Worse

I talked to a guy at Dow yesterday who just returned from four years working in Sao Paulo, Brazil.  He commutes into Philadelphia from Wayne PA and is very happy with the drive on the Schuykill Expressway.  It is a narrow, crowded highway into America's fifth largest city.  But the traffic moves.  Different than driving in Sao Paulo.

Two days of three so far this week my commute home was longer because a train broke down or was delayed.  I was more than an hour late Tuesday, a half-hour yesterday.  The commute is two hours each way already, so delays really suck.

In December I had a different problem caused by the conductor.  I wrote a letter of complaint.

Here it is:

On December 8, 2011, the conductor on the 10:59 pm train to Lancaster refused to allow me to travel on her train.  I believe her name is Debbie.

I have commuted from Lancaster to Philadelphia on Amtrak since 1995 for three different jobs.  Since I returned from deployment to Iraq in February 2010, I have bought monthly tickets and travel to Philadelphia three or four days per week.  I am an avid bicyclist and sometimes bring a folding bike with me on the commute.  I normally travel to Phila at 706am and return at 535 or 642pm.  

I have a folding bike with 20-inch wheels and another bike instead of folding breaks in half.  I then fold the two pieces of the bike.   

On December 8 I worked late.  On the platform Debbie said the bike did not fold so it was not allowed on the train.  I had been bringing this bike on trains for almost a year and said that to Debbie. She said, "That's not true."  Really?  

I am a 58-year-old combat veteran of Iraq with five kids.  I do not often get called a liar to my face.  

My employer covered the hotel room because I had to stay over in Philadelphia.  Debbie said she was concerned about passenger safety, but she had three completely empty cars.  If she thought anyone was in immanent danger from a folded bicycle, the bicycle could have been stored in an empty car.

I did not write immediately because I am treated so well by Amtrak and tell my friends who drive how nice it is to take the train.  My wife and I are also in the process of adopting a child from Haiti.

But this morning I was reminded of just how rude Debbie is.  I am writing this letter on the 706am train to Philadelphia.  I had not seen Debbie since the incident until this morning.  We are in the quiet car.  She is talking loudly.  Loudly enough she was asked to quiet down.  She said, "I am allowed to talk."  When the conductors sneer the rules, even if they are off duty, that is a real problem.

I do not think you should have customer service people who act in an arbitrary and insulting way to customers and disobey your own rules.

I want an apology from Debbie.  

Sincerely yours,

Neil Gussman

Lancaster PA 

Flushing at Home, at Work, in Iraq

Toilet training is clearly not equal in the many parts of my world.  And new information can change the flushing habits of people brought up push the chrome handle after doing their business.

I work in a 7-story museum and library.  My co-workers average more than two college degrees each.  The bathrooms in our building are shining clean.  But in the 4th floor men's room, walking up to a urinal means looking down into yellow water.  At 9am the water is blue from the previous night's cleaning.  But the 4th floor has offices for the most environmentally conscious members of our staff.  Which means, I suppose, "If it's yellow, let it mellow, if it's brown, flush it down."

At home, my 12 and 13-year-old sons are still being trained to aim, flush, and wash.  They always get two out of three.  I occasionally listen for the proper sequence of water sounds and correct on the spot if there is a mistake.  But sometimes when I take a shower I find and unflushed toilet.  

In Iraq the toilets were often horrendous.  Once people were posting Facebook pictures of a turd that would not flush and got named Il Duce, after Benito Mussolini.  How the connection was made, I don't know.  These guys not only pissed on the seat, they shit on it which seemed to me physically impossible.  But who knows.  On drill weekends, many soldiers clearly do not know urinals flush.  Or maybe they are environmentalists.

In any case, most days, I see yellow water somewhere.

Moving Pictures onto Facebook

Over the next few months, I will be moving the thousands of pictures I have from Iraq and from Army weekends to the facebook page http://www.facebook.com/2104GSAB for my unit and my own facebook page http://www.facebook.com/ngussman.  With the war in Iraq over the pictures are all of places that will be just memories.  If the current government succeeds then no one will need outposts with blast walls in the middle of nowhere.  If things go badly, all those places could end up ruins.  Either way, my home-away-from-home at Camp Adder is history.

Waiver Moving Forward

Today the first stage of getting a waiver should be completed.  Right now, like any Mac user, I am struggling with opening the Army forms.  My old COMPAQ laptop I use for Army stuff decided to quit in the middle of downloading the file.  Oh well.

In my last post I wrote about the survey of what Americans value.  My wife and I were talking about the list.  She said I have to make clear that the list is talking about what people value in their own lives.  So when competence ranks #23 of 30 she says it is not something the respondents hold as a personal value even if they value it in others.  Most people very much want competence in people around them--doctors, lawyers, police, teachers--but that does not mean they value it in themselves.

Very true.  The worst sort of sports fan is exactly that.  A 300-pound guy who can't run or throw across a street yet knows exactly how Tom Brady should lead the Patriots in the Superbowl.  Competence is not something he values in himself.

Why Go Back in the Army?

Two days ago, I had a two-hour psych evaluation.  My wife and I have to get the evaluation to be sure we are not crazy before we adopt our next child.

The psychologist was very interested in why I would go back in the Army after almost 25 years.

I talked to her about some of the reasons I had, but one reason became more clear to me in Chapter 2 of a book titled The 10 Natural Laws of Successful Time and Life Management by Hyrum W. Smith.  If you are the type of person who cares about time management, you may recognize Smith as one of the founders of Franklin-Covey and the Franklin Planner System.

My wife carries a Franklin planner and is a strong advocate of the system.  I am a disorganized mess and working through the book in hopes of becoming organized.

So, did I join the Army to be more organized?  No.

But in the book on Pages 63-4 is a list based on a national survey in which people were asked to list the things that had the highest priority in their lives.

Here it is:


In a survey carried out in the United States in 1992, the following
values were most commonly mentioned:
  1. Spouse
  2. Financial security
  3. Personal health & fitness
  4. Children and family
  5. Spirituality/ Religion
  6. Sense of accomplishment
  7. Integrity and honesty
  8. Occupational satisfaction
  9. Love for others/Service
10. Education and learning
11. Self-respect
12. Taking responsibility
13. Exercising leadership
14. Inner harmony
15. Independence
16. Intelligence and wisdom
17. Understanding

18. Quality of life

19. Happiness/Positive attitude

20. Pleasure

21. Self-control

22. Ambition

23. Being capable

24. Imagination and creativity

25. Forgiveness

26. Generosity

27. Equality

28. Friendship

29. Beauty
30. Courage

When I thought about going back in the military, I knew without being able to completely say why that the military had a better grasp of reality that the civilian world.  For many reasons, soldiers call civilian life "The Real World."  But I don't think so.  The list shows why.

Look at the bottom of the list:
23. Being capable

28. Friendship

30. Courage

A "real world" in which competence, friendship, and courage are bottom-of-the-list, optional extras is not the kind of life I want to live.  

The psychologist was very professional and said affirming things about all my life choices, but I am going to guess she likes the Franklin survey list the way it is.   

France Suspends Combat Operations in Afghanistan

On Thursday four French soldiers were killed and sixteen were wounded when an Afghan soldier they were training blew himself up.  Following the incident, the French President suspended combat operations and all training of Afghan soldiers by the 2000+ French troops serving in Afghanistan.

Earlier in the week I had a moment of sympathy for Mitt Romney when he was criticized by his Republican rivals for speaking French.  The same people who criticized Jon Huntsman for speaking Mandarin.  The same people who are too self-satisfied and stupid to learn another language themselves--not they have a particular talent for English.

There will certainly be criticism by the chubby commentariat on the Right of the French decision.  But since none of the loud-mouths on right-wing radio ever served in the military, they will be talking out of their XXL asses.

France was our first ally and without them we would have lost the Revolutionary War.  France remained our ally after their own revolution and it pisses me off every time I hear criticism of France by the Chicken Hawks who are in favor of war as long as they are fought by someone else.

I don't know if or when French troops will return to risking their lives training Afghan soldiers, but in this ten-year-long war, French troops have been on the ground and in the fight since the beginning.  French critics in the US have been on their fat asses just as long.

Col. Scott Perry Announces Run for US Congress

My battalion commander in Iraq, Col. Scott Perry said he will run for a US Congressional seat in Central PA.  Perry is currently the representative of the 92nd PA state congressional district.

I was hoping he would run sooner rather than later and with the current congressman stepping down, he should have a good shot at getting elected.  Perry is a Republican in a very Republican area of the state.

If I lived in the 4th district, I would vote for him.  He commanded a big task force with soldiers from a dozen states, aircraft flying around the clock and the worst flying conditions Iraq had to offer.  He worked hard all the time.  Pennsylvania and our nation will be a better place with Perry in the US Congress.

Col. Perry is a Blackhawk pilot and is currently commanding the 166th training brigade at Fort Indiantown Gap PA.

Training a Blackhawk Crew Chief in Afghanistan

Great Article about Training a Blackhawk Crew Chief in Afghanistan.
It really gets at the huge responsibility and complex job every crew chief takes on.


http://www.humanevents.com/article.php?id=48746

Next Adventure--Rwanda

During the January drill weekend I got a lot of help from getting together the paperwork I need to extend my enlistment for another year or maybe two.  At the end of the weekend the sergeant in charge of admin for our battalion had most of the papers so in February we should be able to get them signed on on the way up the chain of command to the Adjutant General of the state.

If it goes through I serve until May of 2014 or maybe 2015.  If not, I am out in May of 2013.  Either way my long term plan includes most of a year in Rwanda.  That would be the academic year 2015-16.  That year my wife would be eligible for a sabbatical.  She is a math professor so her research is very portable.  The plan is to take the whole family to Rwanda for a year.

Our three (maybe four) sons will have the opportunity to live in a black-majority culture.  Of course, Xavier has spent his entire life in a black-majority culture, but he will experience it partly through the eyes of his brothers.

So why Rwanda?  Bicycle racing.  There are dozens of terribly poor countries to choose from in the world, but not many where I have something valuable to contribute.  In Rwanda, a former Belgian colony, the country is recovering from the 1994 genocide.  Part of that recovery is a shared love of bicycle racing.  An American, Jonathan Boyer, who raced in the Tour de France in the 80s went to Rwanda after the genocide and organized a national team and a national race--The Tour of Rwanda.  The story was in the New Yorker this summer.

In Rwanda I can teach English to French-speaking kids who need to be literate to be bike racers.  I can teach English with a full bike vocabulary--and then go riding with my students.  My sons can help with the English also.  They will be 16 and 17 and able to teach very current English.

Once the boys are in college, I want to spend more of my time in Haiti, Rwanda, and other poor countries.  A lot of people my age and older talk about traveling.  Some actually do it.  The Army reminded me that travel without a purpose can be dreary.  I loved going to Haiti.  I can't wait to go to Rwanda.  I know I would love going to Paris and Perth again, but I want to go places where it matters that I went.  Even if I can't much directly to help while I am there, I can write back home to tell other people what it's like to live in Rwanda.

Numbers Update

This week Site Meter says my blog passed 100,000 visits and 130,000 page views since June of 2008.  Blogger also tracks page views and says I have had 90,000 since June of 2009.  The webmaster at my day job says every method of tracking traffic gets a different result.  But the fact that the two are close makes me think they are pretty accurate.

Blogger also tells me which posts are the most popular.  By far the top of the list is "Home Sweet Trailer Home" with more than 2,100 page views followed by "Flying to Camp Garry Owen" with just over 500.

I know that my all time visits equal about one Lady Gaga minute, but a soldier stopped me in the hallway to say he reads my blog.  So I will keep posting till I get out.  Today's post is # 1,037.  Writing over 1,000 posts is like gaining weight--it doesn't happen all at once, but if you eat a little too much every day for a few years, suddenly you can't see your feet standing up!

And on a different note, the paperwork is coming together for my request to stay in another year or two.  So I may get to 1,500 posts if I stay in long enough!

Looks like a Happy New Year!

Hearing Test--Army Style

Today we had the annual cattle call for medical evaluations.  Medical teams come in and set up in the armory to check our teeth.  Others set up in the parking lot to check our hearing.  Today at Noon I got in line for the hearing check.  The line moves at the rate of two people every ten minutes.  I joined the line with eight people in front of me.

And for the next 40 minutes I listened to the diesel generator that ran all the equipment in the hearing test truck.

Huh?

Exactly.  Everyone in the line listened to a diesel at high idle for for the best part of an hour before the hearing test.

We all passed anyway, but sometimes the Army is too funny!

Another Old Soldier

Another good friend who I served with in Germany in the 70s was Sgt. Abel Lopez.  He and I were assigned to Bravo Company 1-70th Armor in Fort Carson Colorado in late 1975.  In September of the following year, Abe and I and 4,000 other soldiers flew to Germany becoming Brigade 76.  We were supposed to reinforce the East-West German border.  Our alert area was Fulda, right where Tom Clancy said World War III would begin.

At one point Abe and I were tank commanders of tanks parked next to each other in our motor pool in Wiesbaden.

The picture above was taken in that motor pool during the two hours each week we had to work in our gas masks.  Abel is in the middle flanked by Gene Pierce and Don Spears.  

After the Army, Abe went back to San Diego and became a fire fighter--retiring a few years ago as a Captain.  For most of the years since he left Germany in 1979 we have talked a half-dozen times each year.  Most of those conversations are about our faith mixed with the Army, family work and bad jokes.  

Once in 2008 I called Abe and said I read that Gen. Petraeus went to West Point about ten months before I enlisted which meant we were the same age.  Abe said, "The only difference between you is he is a big success and you aren't."  

Which is just the kind of jokes we have been making since Gen. Petraeus was a Lieutenant.

Old Soldiers Don't Fade Away

To begin the new year, let me introduce you to a soldier--actually an airman--who was my roommate at Lindsey Air Station in Wiesbaden, West Germany, in in 1978.  Airman 1st Class Cliff Almes shared a room with me during the year I worked for the base newspaper at the Wiesbaden Military Community Headquarters.  

You'll notice in the pictures below that Cliff is still in uniform and is serving on temporary assignment in the Middle East.  

He is no longeer in the US military.

When his enlistment was up, Cliff went home to Arizona for a couple of months then came back to join a Lutheran Monastery in Darmstadt Germany with a name so long I will direct you to the web site if you want it in German.  Land of Kanaan is the short version.

We became friends during the time we roomed together.  And after Cliff began his time as a novice I was able to visit him in Darmstadt.  

Cliff became Brother (Bruder) Timotheus.  

Here he is on a recent trip to Israel.  He is the second from the left with three other Brothers and a local pastor.

In this photo Cliff is back in Germany with some of the young men who have come to Kanaan for short-term ministries and sometimes to see if they have a vocation for a life of service.  

On the Eve of 2012

My big Army projects at the beginning of 2012 are:

• Write a newsletter summing up the last half of 2012 and all the things we did.
• Send a message to everyone in the unit who has a facebook page to "Like" to the 2104GASB page.
• Fill out the packet of information I need to extend my enlistment after I turn 60 in 2013.

Life gets more crowded every week.  If I had any sense I would just let my enlistment run out so my life would be less complicated.  But it is so much fun to fire machine guns and ride in helicopters that it is hard to give up.

Happy New Year.