Saturday, August 8, 2009

The Desert Cat Daily Distro

The on-line news and events source for those of us who have access to a military computer is Subject: Desert Cat Daily Distro. I am pasting in the issue from two days ago and removing all names and links. Just so you'll see the range of stuff happening on the base.

A lot of messages have the signature lines from the soldier's emails on them.





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Please enjoy your Daily Distro filled with loads of intriguing information and gripping events going on around COB Adder.
[until two weeks ago it said "titillating events"--I have no idea what motivated the change to gripping]


***NOTE: I CAN NOT REMOVE YOU FROM THE DISTRO LIST.***



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COB ADDER ATTACK WARNING SIGNALS:

PLEASE follow link below in reference to the COB ADDER ATTACK WARNING SIGNALS




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Garrison Conference Room:

Open to all units who need to utilize the conference room.

You will have to go through the Garrison Helpdesk at ...to make an appointment.
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Air Force Daily Link:

Events are open to all DOD personnel.

Also located on the Cob Adder Portal under Tallil Activities and Events.


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Jeopardy

Subject: Movies

Question: Who is Truman Capote?

Answer: Philip Seymour Hoffman won a Best Actor Oscar in 2006 for portraying
this In Cold Blood author.

Winners: *****************************************************************************
Special Meal Request and Room Reservations:

Send all Special Meal Request and room reservations to ...


Together we can accomplish the mission.
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167th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion Transfer of Authority Ceremony:

The Officers and Soldiers of the 167th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion and the
2-162nd Infantry Battalion cordially invite you to attend their Transfer of Authority Ceremony

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This Camp Adder band is looking for a lead singer. They specialize in Punk and Rock music. Their performance includes cover and original songs.


It's easy to find reasons not to get involved "True compassion puts love into action"
-Unknown-
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6 Man Team Soccer League:

I am starting a 6 man team soccer league that will play 12 weeks, 1 game a week, on Saturday nights at Camp terandak field on hammer rd. One of the attachments in a brief description of the league and the second is the team roster. I would like to start the league next weekend so I need the team rosters by COB Saturday.

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BEYOND NARNIA--A Discussion of books by CS Lewis

Where: MWR Library opposite House of Pain Gym
When: 2000 hours every Monday
1st Book: "The Weight of Glory"

We are reading one essay per week and discussing it. For Monday, August 10, the essay is "Learning in War Time."
I still have copies of the book.

For more information contact Neil Gussman neil.g.gussman@iraq.centcom.mil or ngussman@gmail.com 833-5171
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Women of Professional Concept (WPC) Group:

The meeting time for WPC is 0800-0900 on Thursdays in RAC Room A7, next to "God's Grounds" Coffee shop across from the Coalition DFAC. FREE COFFEE!

This Week's Topics (6 AUG 09):See Situational Questions

Q: Two people in our small office consistently come in late, leave early and take two hours for lunch. As the human resources manager, I've told my boss that we need to put a stop to this, because other employees are starting to complain about unfair treatment. My boss gripes about this tardiness, but if I ask him to confront the employees, he always says "It won't do any good" or "Maybe we should just get rid of them." His refusal to deal with performance issues is driving me crazy. What can I do?

Q: How do I get my co-worker to stop annoying me? She is very self-centered, whiny and needy. I have told her this and given her the cold shoulder, but she can't take a hint. I just want her to leave me alone. How can I make that happen without creating tension in the office?

"People are your most precious asset; neglect them and you'll fail."
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"30 Life Principles" Tallil Women's Bible Study!

"30 Life Principles" Women's Bible Study! A study for growing in the knowledge and understanding of God. Every Monday at 1900 in the Tallil Main Chapel. The weekly study is led by CPT Musheerah Kolen of 121st BSB, 4th BCT.

For more information contact . . .
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10th Combat Support Hospital Physical Therapy Service:

Running Form - Who Taught You How to Run?


Educational Materials Provided by your Army Physical Therapist Army Medical Specialist Corps

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REDEPLOYMENT/DoDAAC Question and Answer Session:

Just bring any question you have about HI-PRI's, DoDAAC's, Exchange Pricing, and Redeployment procedures.

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Education Center Services:

ATTENTION COB ADDER:

The COB Adder Forces Command Education Center is not fully operational at this time. Our capabilities include GT Improvement study hall and Testing AFCT (GT), AFAST, DLAB, and Proctoring of College Exams. Soon we will have computers available for Soldiers to do their College work.

Due to the limitations of the Ed Center, I am referring everyone to either email or call the Victory Base Education Center (Baghdad) at victory.edcenter@us.army.mil or by phone at 318-485-2935 or 318-485-2648 if I am unable to assist.

Thank you for your patience.

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ABS / CORE training Class - Change 3.2

Previously on Tuesday's and Thursday's at the Sprung Center and or House of Pain Gym will now be on Monday's and Thursday's from 1930-2000 at the House of Pain Gym in the stretching room.

This class emphasizes on strengthening all dimensions of the core muscles with many variations of crunches as well as push-ups. Music is generally provided however, all are welcome to wear their own personal MP3 player. This class is for beginners as well and everyone is welcome to join.

Mats, Towels, Water and Motivation provided- Just show up.

See ya there!

"The Mean Abs Lady"
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July Legal Assistance Newsletter:

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DEFERMENT OF PERIODIC DENTAL EXAMS:

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CALLING ALL DIVINE 9 ON COB ADDER

If you are a member of Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Inc. Alpha Phi Alpha Fraternity, Inc. Kappa Alpha Psi Fraternity, Inc.
Omega Psi Phi Fraternity, Inc. Delta Sigma Theta Sorority, Inc. Phi Beta Sigma Fraternity, Inc. Zeta Phi Beta Sorority, Inc.
Sigma Gamma Rho Sorority, Inc. and Iota Phi Theta Fraternity, Inc.

Please email or call . . .
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Education Center Testing:

Testing for the AFAST, AFCT (GT) and DLAB will be held at the Education Center located near the Body Shop Gym (off of 4th and Longknife, between LA5 and LA6 in the former HEAT training building.) Study hall is Tuesdays and Thursdays 1800-2000..

See flyer for test dates and times.

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167 CSSB 25 July Newsletter:

Please enjoy the final issue of the 167th CSSB's Granite Times at COB Adder. Publication will restart once the Granite Battalion moves to its new location.

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Ali series of Texas Hold Em:

Please help spread the word.

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Power Yoga

If you have any questions, please contact me.

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MRAP Training:

Do you know the services provided at the MRAP Support Site ?
"We support the War Fighter"

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Final edition of the Chain Link:

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Step Aerobics at Muscle Beach:

Starting this week, Muscle Beach (AF Gym) will be offering Step Aerobics with weights on Tuesday, Thursday, and Saturday evenings at 1800. Class will be immediately followed by the ongoing "Abs and Core" class. Great music, great workout!

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SPIN CLASS New Location:

HOUSE OF PAIN

GOOD MUSIC & GOOD WORKOUT

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Tallil Dead Poets Society:

The Tallil Dead Poets Society meets in the MWR Library opposite the House of Pain Gym every Tuesday at 2000. For the next seven weeks we will be reading Inferno by Dante--a guided tour of Hell written about 1300 AD. I have several copies of the book I can give to participants on a 1st come, 1st served basis.

For more info, contact Neil Gussman:
ngussman@gmail.com or neil.g.gussman@iraq.centcom.mil
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"Your thoughts determine your feelings, and your feelings influence your actions"
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Points of Contact Tallil/Balad ARA Office:

In preparation of our move to Balad on 3 July. Starting 1 July the Army Reserve Affairs office Tallil will be unavailable via NIPRNET, SIPRNET computers and phones with the exception of the below number. If any assistance is needed please call or come by BLDG 311 or call the Balad office @ We thank you for your patience during our transition.

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MNC-I Army Reserve Affairs News letter

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ATTENTION ALL ADDER!!!!

When submitting for a Special Meal Request you need to have your O5 or higher sign and then bring to Bldg. 311 room 14 for processing. The DFACs cannot issue out any food without the Special Meal Request having all four signatures.

Those having any questions you can call me at . . .

Together we can accomplish the mission.
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Focus 5/6 Movie Night:


Focus 5/6 will host a movie every Sunday @ The Big Top.

Please see the attached flier and help spread the great news!

Thank you,

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COB Adder Water Conservation Program

As we enter summer, help save our most precious natural resource. Water.

Tips to reduce water usage:
- If you take a water bottle be sure to use all of it.
- Turn off water when brushing teeth or shaving.
- Do not run water on full blast.
- Contact the work order desk if broken/leaky, shower heads, water facets or toilets are found

As we continue through the summer water providing adequate water supplies will be a constant struggle.
Be part of the solution. Conserve water usage.
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"Please review the attached Finance Flash Eagle Cash tips use. This will assist you in the future when US Currency is reduced or removed from the Tallil Finance Office."

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ATTENTION ALL ADDER WARRANT OFFICERS!

We are updating the Adder Warrant distribution list.

The list is used for notification of WOPD times (which are laid back and cool to attend), warrant related news, or general questions to the group.

Please email me if you would like to be added.

Thanx & have a great Warrant day!

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Post Chapel:

Come to a new Praise & Worship Service on Wednesdays at the ADDER Post Chapel at 19:00, everyone welcome.

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COB Adder:

Want to make a positive change in your life? Stop smoking? Stop dipping? Better manage your stress or anger? Take advantage of the Combat Stress Classes offered and sign up for a class today.

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HAZCOM TRAINING: Incident Response Team (IRT) will offer Hazard Communication (HAZCOM) training. This course will provide training related to Material Safety Data Sheet (MSDS), identification of possible hazards in the work place and procedures to notification of hazards and necessary precautions. It also provides training related to proper handling, storage and safe disposal of Hazardous Material (HM) and Hazardous Waste (HW) including used Petroleum, Oil and Lubricants (POL), batteries, acids and pesticides. Target audience for this training are soldiers involved in managing motor pool and anybody handling HM/HW. Please contact Benjamin Smith of COB Adder IRT at (318) 833-5977 (DSN) or Benjamin.d.smith@iraq.centcom.mil to reserve a seat in the class. Please provide trainee's last name, first name, rank or position (civilian), unit, telephone and e-mail address.


Place: Post Chapel

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612 MCT SOP:

612th Movement Control Detachment (MCT) is the new MCT on COB ADDER. All customers please ensure that all TMRs, AMRs, JMRs, and all other requests are filled out correctly prior to submission. When submitting Transportation Movement Requests (TMRs); all customers should verify prior to TMR submission to the MCT that all POCs information is correct and valid. Incorrect POCs or if the MCT cannot contact/validate POCs will result in rejected TMRs.

"We Never Stop"
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Every Man's Battle:

Are you suffering from addiction or temptation? There's a Bible Study for men on every Tuesday now at 1900. The Study will come from Stephen Artburn, "Every Man's Battle". Study materials will be provided. You may come by the Chapel and receive the book at anytime. Come join us for this ministry to help those in need. Please see the attached flyer. I want to thank everyone that has made it to this study and helping one another. Chaplain Wright will be the POC for more information. I will miss everyone. Take care and keep the faith.

"WhY sO sErIoUs? LeTs PuT a SmIle On ThAt FaCe!"
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"New - Bedrock Sunday Gospel Service" at the BIG TOP 1300

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Please come to our Sunday Worship Services at BLDG 713, everyone welcome. Take the South Route bus to the Warrior's DFAC stop. Building 713 is behind the DFAC. Please see the attached flier and help spread the great news!

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Country Night

Thursday Night Country at Memorial Hall is still going on. As we say farewell to DJ Hop-Long we are bringing in DJ House up to the stage. She will be kicking off the tunes at 1930 all the way up to 2300. So if you are looking for a good time and a great bunch of people to hang around with, then come on by and see what it's all about. Lessons will still be given just at a different time. Thank you to everyone for their continual support that keeps Country Night going. Thank you again for all your support and I will miss each and every one of you.

http://tallil-home/Garrison/Tallil%20Activities%20and%20Events/NEW%20COUNTRY%20WESTERN%20FLYER.ppt

DJ Hop-Long
SGT LOGAN, JOSHUA
"WhY sO sErIoUs? LeTs PuT a SmIle On ThAt FaCe!"
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"SOUTH SIDE SALSA"

Learn to Salsa, Bachata and Merengue. We had another great turnout Saturday. The beginner's class focused on basic Salsa and Bachata steps. The advanced class focused on Salsa turns and locks. Thanks to Jose and David, more Soldiers and Airmen have improved their dancing skills. The change in lesson hours worked better for Soldiers this week. Thanks to all the Soldiers and Airmen who joined us last week the event was fun for all. Come join us for lessons every Saturday 20:00 to 21:00. Music begins at 19:30 and dancing continues until 23:30. Take the South Route bus to the Warrior's DEFAC stop. Building 713 is behind the DEFAC.

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Coalition Café South :

Do to the increase during the lunch time, the Coalition Café South will not take any room reservations for the Abrams Room (Large Room) during lunch. We would greatly appreciate if you could schedule your room reservations for times other than the lunch hour to allow for seating for all who eat.


Together we can accomplish the mission.
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HQ, Multi-National Corps - Iraq, Army Reserve Affairs Newsletter, 1st Issue:

The Tallil ARA office will be moving to Balad late next week. We will still be available as the Balad office covers the southern areas. I will send you a slide as the time to relocate draws near.

Thank you for your assistance.

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ALCON,

To save the life of your air conditioner, when you leave your CHU for the day or your office for the night, turn your AC to FAN. What this does, it gives the compressor time to rest and not freeze up. The more we practice this it will help the generators from overloading and will hopefully keep the power from shutting down in the future. Thank you for your support!

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AC Units:

This should help with some of our P1 emergency service calls a large % of them are due to tenants not using the recommended settings.

We are also going to distribute through our Billeting

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Just a reminder.

If soldier's are missing ID tags, personal items, Kevlar's, etc....Garrison Command BLDG 331,
has a Lost & found that is full of belongings!

Please direct your soldiers this way to collect their things!!

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Armor up with positive thought from your Combat Stress Control Team.

~ When you are grateful fear disappears and abundance appears.~

- Anthony Robins
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Jeopardy

Subject: Movies

Answer: In 2007's The Bucket List, Morgan Freeman and this fellow Oscar winner
Escape a cancer ward to fulfill some wishes before they "kick the bucket"
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"Never tell evil of a man, if you do not know it for certainty, and if you know it for a certainty, then ask yourself, 'Why should I
tell it? You can tell more about a person by what he says about others than you can by what others say about him. Rumor travels
faster, but it don't stay put as long as truth." ;)

Friday, August 7, 2009


Remember this picture from the 2004 presidential campaign. The never-very-funny John Kerry stuck his foot way in his mouth and was rightly ridiculed by the soldiers who were serving in Iraq.

But this kind of joke can, in the lovely military metaphor, turn around and bite you in the ass.

That photo was shot in the building right next door to the motor pool where I work. My tool crib is 100 feet to the right of that memorable banner. I have written lately about volunteering at the education center. Except, it is not an education center in the sense that it has a staff or computers or anything like that. It is just a building. We have been hearing since we arrived there would be an education center.

I am one of the volunteers helping people study to retake their Army qualification test. A few medics run the program on their off time, but when two sergeants came in last night at different times asking for things a real education center could do, we had to send them to the Air Force education center to get contact info for an Army Center 200 miles away.

This base, Tallil Ali, which was mentioned in a feature in the current New York Times magazine on solider suicide, has been in American hands since the beginning of the war. As I have said in other posts, we have gyms, shopping, great food, great housing, but. . .

This is the only major base in Iraq with no education center. . .

Kerry supporters should get a smile out of that.

Thursday, August 6, 2009

100 Laps of Tallil Ali Air Base

Sometime between now and Saturday, I will have ridden 100 laps of Tallil Ali Air Base. I rode the perimeter as soon as my bike got here in the beginning of May. Then I rode almost every day since, with a long break while I was home on leave in June. It's a little hard to count exactly from my mileage because I ride the perimeter road every day except when the worst sandstorms prevent me. I think I have missed three or four days at the most. Many days I ride two laps (including today) and some days I have ridden three laps.

The post is rectangular and has a well-guarded perimeter fence which I never get within 100 meters of and sometimes I am hundreds of yards away. I usually ride counter clockwise because the wind, as in Pennsylvania, is usually out of the west and riding counterclockwise gives me a tail wind on the long, deserted stretch on the southside.

I start out riding 1/3-mile on dirt and stones to get out of the housing area and then turn squarely into the wind. In about a mile I turn south and have the wind at my side for another mile and a half. The road then sweeps left and I start going fast. I have to slow down a half-mile later because the road disappears for a quarter mile in sand and rippled pavement: not too bad on the mountain bike but really rough on the road bike. Then I get more almost three miles of tail wind, another side wind then a final two miles of bad headwind.

That loop is 10.2 miles. I add an extra half mile sometimes and ride a little further south near the rifle range. I can also cut a mile off by taking a dirt shortcut--only on the dirt bike.

The short loop with extra dirt would have been the race course.

If I keep riding as I am now by the time we leave I may have circled Tallil Ali almost 300 times!! But I am quite happy riding the same route week after week, so it's almost like home knowing the road this well. At home, my main ride is the "daily ride" with Scott Haverstick and whoever else shows up. The route never changes. I can't wait to be back.

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Who Fights This War: 4th Tour at 26 Years Old

Today I met a maintenance sergeant, a tall, very upbeat guy from the New York City area. He has "sleeve" tattoos: colorful ink all the way from his shoulders to his wrists. He recently turned 26 and is new to helicopter maintenance, but likes his work. He may try to get civilian work in this field after the deployment, but also hopes to get work as a National Guard technician. Or maybe he will find another unit that's deploying. That would make four deployments. This current deployment is his third. In 2004-5 he was in Iraq as a medic. Within 12 months he had a tour in Afghanistan as an infantryman, returning in 2007. He could not find steady work in 2008, so he volunteered to deploy again, which included retraining as an aviation mechanic. And you should not feel bad for him. By all indications I could get, he thinks this is a perfectly good way to make a living. I have talked to many soldiers in their 20s on this deployment who have no ambition to higher education and simply want honest work with their hands. One of the reasons this long war could be fought is the years and years of declining employment opportunities for blue-collar workers. If President Obama manages to end the two wars he inherited, he will add new pressure to the unemployment bubble. It seems pretty sure if the wars don't end and blue collar jobs with a living wage don't return to America, this young sergeant will turn 30 in Afghanistan on his fifth deployment.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

Book Groups and the Education Center

A couple of weeks ago I was worried I was giving a Pollyanna impression of life in Iraq. During the last two weeks you could wonder if chicken shit and job confusion are the sum of my days. That would be just as wrong. Yesterday, after all the job drama was over, I finished my work in the motor pool, then spent a couple of hours before dinner transferring and shrinking photos for the company newsletter.

At dinner I saw a young woman in my squad eating dinner with two older female sergeants. This might be the third time I have seen them as a dinner group in the last week. The young sergeant-to-be is 23 and will be a lot better off with female mentors.

Next was the first meeting of "Beyond Narnia" as CS Lewis reading group I started. There were four soldiers at the first meeting and four more who should be coming next week. Three of the four people were from the Dante group, so the fourth, a chaplain with a unit that arrived recently, introduced himself, then I told the group about CS Lewis's life and work after which they asked questions for about 20 minutes. It was a lot of fun. One asked about Shadowlands (the CSL movie) and about his family. Another asked for more details about CSL's conversion.

We will be reading the book of essays titled The Weight of Glory and out first essay will be "Learning in War Time." Thanks go out again to the father of one of the lieutenants in our unit who sent us most of the books. Three more were sent by Brigitte Van Tiggelen, a historian who regularly visits the library/museum where I work.

Today I worked in the motor pool until 3pm then drove over to the repair hangards on the other side fo the base to shoot pictures of a CH-47 Chinook helicopter going through major maintenance. I got some good shots of a crew removing the rotor hubs from the top of the bird. Tomorrow I will get more shots of the overhaul work.

After the photos, I went to the education center. I helped a couple of soldiers with word problems then spoke to the woman who coordinates the tutoring sessions. Barring schedule changes, I should be able to volunteer an hour on Tuesday and two hours on Thursday.

At the Dante group tonight, the first order of business was voting on the next book. Aeneid won by one vote over Purgatorio. But everyone agreed we would go back to Purgatorio after Aeneid. We should be able to read Inferno, Aeneid, Purgatorio and start Paradiso before I rotate out, and maybe someone else can take over.

We got our first question for the translator tonight. Tony Esolen, who translated the version we are reading, agreed to take questions by email if I can't answer them. Tonight's question: Cleopatra and Dido are suicides, why are they in the higher part of Hell where Lust is punished (easier punishment) not five levels down with the suicides?

Life is mostly good.

Monday, August 3, 2009

My Job, or Jobs

With my squad leader getting knee surgery 6,000 miles away, I am in charge of the nine members of 4th squad. But with additional duties, leaves, and temporary assignments, my squad is usually three or four specialists, one of whom should make sergeant soon and maybe another before the tour is over.

So that is job one. Job two is being sergeant tool bitch which lately mostly means taking care of the operating system of the big tool box--the compressor, generator and such--and making up hand receipts to inventory all the special tools stuffed in Conex containers. But a big part of this job is actually being in the motor pool from 7am to 3pm every day except Thursday and every 4th Sunday.

Job three is where it gets messy. My company commander and first sergeant want me to do various extra duties within the company, first and foremost the next issue of the newsletter and also serve as Morale, Welfare and Recreation sergeant. The battalion commander wants me to do public affairs for the battalion. Although there are no official hours for the battalion job, it ends up conflicting with the motor pool.

I have a chain of command and for those of you who work in a modern multi-tasking office setting, I suppose you would assume I manage my own time and balance the needs of one job against the other and do the best I can at all of them.

I tried that.

The result was a rather loud discussion with the battalion motor officer last week about how much my presence was required in the motor pool.

My platoon sergeant regularly reminds me that my squad comes first.

The first sergeant is emphatic that the company comes first.

I spoke with the sergeant major at the battalion today about where I might be shooting photos for the battalion in the near future, taking for granted I would be working for the battalion.

My company commander told me how important it is for the team to stay together and he said my first priority is my duties as a leader in the motor pool and company welfare activities.

Today I walked into the DFAC at 1pm. The battalion commander was eating lunch with his assistant. The BC said, "Hey Goose, come over here." So he asked my about bicycling--he has a bike here also--then said "How come you don't want to work for me?" He had gotten the idea I did not want to work for the battalion. I told him otherwise but said I was expecting all of the "senior guys" (He's in his early 40s) to work out what I should be doing. I like my work for the battalion, but it is work. I can't do it as an et cetera that does not intrude on the motor pool schedule.

Sometimes it's fun to be popular.

Lately it's not.

Did I mention that everyone in my chain of command is expecting me to be doing all of my assigned work. This is not a civilian job where I try to get the best results with limited resources and get rated as such. I am really expected to obey all of those guys. They all have said what they want. I think they have all been around enough to know what they are telling me is in direct conflict with what five other people are telling me. But each assumes because he said it, I am doing it.

Jobs one and two are a full-time job for the other three squad leaders. The BC asked me today if I was politicking. I could honestly answer I was not. I want someone to decide what I am supposed to be doing and what I am not supposed to be doing. And then I will do whatever they decide for just five and half more months.

Then we go home.

I'll let you know how things turn out.

Sunday, August 2, 2009

Eviction Notice

Today my roommate and I returned to the CHU just a few minutes apart around 130pm. I was shooting pictures at the Softball Tournament, he was coming back from being in the motor pool since 7am. I was the first to see an all capital letters paper taped to our door that began:

IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION THAT ONLY ONE SOLDIER IS LIVING IN THIS ROOM. THIS ROOM HAS BEEN DESIGNATED FOR IMMEDIATE OCCUPANCY BY A SECOND AUTHORIZED SOLDIER. IF AN UNAUTHORIZED SOLDIER OR CIVILIAN IS LIVING IN THIS ROOM HIS OR HER BELONGINGS WILL BE REMOVED. . .YOU HAVE 48 HOURS TO REPORT TO THE BILLETING OFFICE AND RESOLVE THIS MATTER.

"IT HAS COME TO OUR ATTENTION. . ." are they kidding? How? Do they have spies? "They" is, of course, the garrison, who you will remember from all my other posts about Chicken Shit are responsible for health and welfare issues and for security.

My roommate and I are each either side of six feet tall, either side of 200 pounds and come in two distinctly different colors. Any idiot who could tape a sign to a door on a Sunday morning could have visited us in the evening, knocked on the door and determined that there are, in fact, two armed maintenance sergeants from Echo Company living in this CHU and have been since May 3.



Why the accusation followed by threats? Well certainly our garrison is to effective communications as Richard Simmons is to masculinity. But the accusation that followed does have a practical advantage. While my roommate and I are clearly right, we both know that even if the garrison won't bother to contact us personally they will have no hesitation to fulfill the vague threat on the door.

Since I have a bike, I rode the half mile to the billeting office as instructed and let my roommate chill out. As it turns out, my roommates hand receipt (the piece of paper which says you are occupying the room) is missing, s he also needs to walk over to billeting within 48 hours or find himself evicted for no reason except that paperwork which is not his responsibility to maintain is missing.

When I asked billeting about the threats on the door, a civilian employee rolled her eyes and said, "Garrison" under her breath. I asked nothing else. She said my paperwork is in order and my roommate will have to walk over and straighten his paperwork out--within 48 hours.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

If You Love Kitties, Don't Read. . .

My wife sent me a lovely email about my son Nigel. He loves animals. My wife found a mouse nest in the garage and let Nigel care for a baby mouse. He spent much of today with the mouse, watching it in its new clear-plastic-container home. Nigel is a sweet kid. Luckily for him, his eyesight and hearing will not allow him to join the military when he gets older. Because animal lovers have a tough time in this crowd.

Now we switch to tonight's dinner. In the usual random way that dinner groups form by whoever recognizes each other siting together, I was sitting with two senior female sergeants: by senior I mean in rank, they are both in their mid-30s. We were joined by our commander and executive officer: two Penn State grads who are 25 and 24 respectively. One of the sergeants brought up our commander's age. I thought I was twice as old as he is, but it turns out I am three years older than twice as old as he is. So then everybody played a game of "What was Sergeant Gussman doing when I was born?" The youngest guy added "What was sergeant Gussman doing when my mother was born? I was four at the time."

With everybody laughing the topic switched to animals in Iraq. The commander had not seen any cats here, only insects and reptiles. One of the sergeants had been assigned to a remote fueling site early in the deployment. The site had a mascot, a small kitten. Fuelers work 24 hours filling helicopters with JP-8 fuel. Their primary vehicle is an 8-wheel-drive, all-terrain HEMMT fuel truck. During one of the night fuel missions the kitten was hiding under one of the HEMMT's six-foot high tires when the truck rolled out.

The next day a very sad sergeant announced with tears "We have lost one of our team." Soldiers started looking around to see who was missing. Then the sergeant said, "Fluffy got run over by a HEMMT last night." According to my witness everyone was relieved at first then started yelling at the sergeant for scaring them and saying, "IT'S ONLY A F#$KING CAT. . ." and other variants on that theme, before they started making jokes about him.

Which led to stories about other fuelers who captured a camel spider (the local scorpion) and how cool it is to watch when these scorpions catch a lizard and how the exactly scorpion eats the lizard.

I am glad my son the animal lover will be a civilian.

Friday, July 31, 2009

Extremes

Last night I spent the best two hours since I left America. I was at the Army Education Center which does not officially open for another month, but they are holding sessions to help soldiers study to improve their GT score--the overall score that determines whether you qualify for some of the really good jobs the Army offers.

Last night I spent two hours helping soldiers solve equations with parentheses, powers, roots, multiplication, division, addition and subtraction--which is the order they are solved. These equations included decimals and fractions so I also was helping with converting fractions, finding common denominators and so forth.

If that doesn't sound fun, then I have not done a good job telling you just how strange it is to move from the very quiet home I live in and the very cooperative place where I work to this Lead-Follow-or-Get-Out-of-the-Way environment I am in now. We hear every day we are all leaders. Many of us translate that into trying to dominate everything they are involved in. So last night I was in a room with a dozen men and women who simply wanted to learn something. Not one soldier said, "When I was in Afghanistan in 2004 we did powers before parentheses and our sergeant major said 'Only a one-handed piano player at a cheap whorehouse would solve the parentheses first.'"

And today is my 12th wedding anniversary. I won't be spending it with my wife--which I have known for a while now, but today, like all the other occasions I will miss this year, reminds me with particular clarity that I volunteered for this--for good and ill. Happy Anniversary Annalisa. I'll be home for the next one.

Thursday, July 30, 2009

No Bike Race


NOT HAPPENING AT TALLIL ALI AIR BASE

One of my big goals, hopes for this deployment was to organize a bike race in Iraq. In case you think this is indicative of severe mental defect or some history of intoxication, a race did not seem crazy to me. Until this month, I thought it was very possible.

First, I was initially supposed to go to a huge air base near Baghdad with paved roads, including a six-mile loop around the air field. At the last minute we were re-assigned to another huge base in the south. Here at Tallil Ali Air Base, there is a 15-kilometer perimeter road which is mostly paved. Some of it is bumpy, but a few miles are very smooth. I can ride the loop on a road bike slowing for the dirt stretches and the worst bumps. It's no problem on a mountain bike.

Speaking of bikes, I estimate there are about 300 to 400 soldiers, airmen and civilian workers with bikes. There could be more. But whenever I ride in the main area of post I see other people riding and bikes chained up at various buildings. Until mid-July there was a group of airmen that would ride together every week. So there were people riding around post and there are a few who ride with me for speed once or twice a week.

So I hoped to have a race/ride. I figured I could find 20 people who would want to race and maybe another 50 to 100 who would ride the perimeter of the post with Military Police at the intersections. I pitched the idea to the garrison MWR (Morale Welfare Recreation) people within a week of my arrival. They thought it was a great idea and encouraged me to get a proposal together, but the new garrison would be taking over while I was home on leave in June, so I would have to propose the idea to them.

After a few delays, I had the meeting two weeks ago. At the meeting I was asked about my strategic plans for perimeter security, about the number of soldiers I could guarantee would participate, and about safety. At one point in the discussion on perimeter security I looked down at the sergeant stripes on my chest and said, "I am a squad leader with five soldiers. What can I do abut perimeter security?" But they wanted food and a party at the end like the 15k running race that happened on July 11. The running race had 400+ participants and, for most people, running 15k is a big deal. Riding 15k is not a big deal. The slowest riders can do it in an hour. the winner of the race would have finished under 30 minutes.

So I was looking at a small, first-time event that would bring out the bicyclists on our big air base and help to form a cycling community. They were looking for an event that is way beyond my resources. There was a follow-up email asking me to provide all the things I could not provide: guaranteed participation, perimeter security strategic plans, etc. I answered the memo then the next day sent another memo withdrawing my offer to organize the race.

When you answer a question and the same person comes back asking again all the questions for which they did not get the answer they want, then the choice is give in to the demands or fight. I chose to walk away. It was awkward, but I have other things going on with MWR that are going well and I don't want to get in pissing contest over a single event. The MWR sergeant who manages most of the programs has given me a room for a Dante book group and a CS Lewis book group (starting Monday) and set me up with the new Education Center (opening soon) to possibly serve as a writing tutor one night per week. They also got lights for the softball field which is what the soldiers in my company cared about more than anything else, and they may let one of our sergeants be the "Commissioner of the Softball League."

So given all that I don't want to fight over the bike race. And I got to do three races while I was home on leave and one in Oklahoma, so I have already done four races despite the deployment. Not such a bad year.

(And for those who know something of my riding history, the garrison also wanted me to guarantee that an event with most of the participants on Wal-Mart-quality, sand-coated Huffys would be safe. All I could do was smile.)

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Semester Break Blues

Before we left Pennsylvania the guys who had been deployed before warned us people would start to fall apart at six months. My wife wrote today to remind me of the parallels between how here students feel after parents weekend--missing there family with a long semester ahead--and how I have been feeling lately.

Well here we are at six month and the predictions are, unfortunately, coming true. Two mechanics are home in the USA getting knee operations, one from a touch football game and another from a sports injury that was not healing. There have been a lot of jokes about "When's the next football game?" and "Do you need anybody to work on a roof, sarge?"

And we are getting lectures on getting slack--except we report for work at 0700 and many of us do PT before work. Some soldiers are getting vehicles. The vehicles are restored wrecks that are less than perfect and an average of 15 years old. And at the same time, the rules about driving them are tightening up. Any traffic ticket is a visit to the Sergeant Major for the first offense and an article 15 (loss of pay and/or rank)for the second offense. So having a vehicle is not such a great thing that way.

The weather is following the generally declining mood. Usually we wake up to a blue sky and 84 degrees at 0500. The weather becomes hot, windy and dusty by 0700, but the beginning is nice.

Today at 0530 the temp was 94, the wind was up and dust filled the air. It just keeps getting worse. The motor sergeant released the mechanics at noon today because the conditions were so bad outside.


THE FREAKY ORANGE COLOR OF SUNLIGHT DIFFUSED THROUGH DUST



DUST STORM ON THE AIRFIELD

The running race was canceled this morning and it was so dusty I did not ride. I am not riding at 6pm either so this will be the first day since I got back from leave that I have not made at least one circuit of the post on the bike. But the weather is so far beyond foul I will ride in the gym.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

More from the Back End of the Chicken

Today we had an NCO meeting to get the latest changes in work-area uniforms. We work in a motor pool consisting of a plywood building, a couple of maintenance tents and conex boxes mostly at one end of a field of gravel and dirt. Next to the rock-strewn work area is a headquarters building and a parking lot. The building and the parking lot are about to be turned over to an active-Army unit. We have two latrines located on the east and west ends of the parking lot. On the east end are two outhouses. On the west end are two latrines--one male, one female--each in a trailer like ones we live in. These deluxe latrines have stalls with doors, sinks and air conditioning--very posh.

Now to get into either latrine, a soldier has to step on the parking lot pavement. As of today, we have to be in uniform to step on the pavement. So if someone is changing the oil in a 5-ton truck and needs to use the latrine, that soldier has to put on his uniform jacket and hat and eye protection before walking the 20 feet from the gravel motor pool to the paved parking lot.

Did I mention the soldiers who are dressing up to walk to the latrine are working in midday temperatures in the high 120s? The soldiers who conceive of the regulations work in air-conditioning.

Monday, July 27, 2009

Hell Boy at the Chapel

Yesterday as I was leaving the 9am traditional Protestant service, the choir for the 11 am service was starting to arrive. I remembered the very enthusiastic young captain from Tennessee who jumps when he sings. When I was about to walk through the door, in walks the subject of my June 8 post, the silent guitar player on the bridge. The guy who wants to make a comeback with a metal band when deployment is over. He told me that evening last month he had a home in Hell. and there he was walking in the door with his enormous 12-string electric bass.

I guess the Chapel band gives him a chance to play.


Who the Wannabe Wants to Be

The Catholic Chaplain from NYC is on the way to a base up north, so my pastor can quit worrying that I will become a Catholic simply to hang around with former Fordham philosophy professor who loves New York.

A week from tonight I will be starting a CS Lewis reading group. The first book is "The Weight of Glory." One of the chaplains said he would attend. This book group will also be in the library in the recreation center. I can't lead a book discussion like this inside the Chapel because official religious activities have to be led by a Chaplain. I'll start out with one essay per week and see how that goes. I can either start with "The Inner Ring" CSL's advice on how to navigate the murky waters of cliques or "Why I am not a Pacifist." CSL's reasons for disdaining pacifism are very similar to George Orwell's. They are contemporaries, but certainly different on philosophy and religion. I am planning on saving the title essay for last. If the group decides to continue, we can move to the Screwtape Letters or some other book they would choose.

Today's picture is from my leave. They are of the doctor who fixed my broken neck and I at his office. The practice he works for hired a writer to do a freelance article on him and I am his success story.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Today the Temp was 133 Before Lunch

I skipped lunch today and rode to the PX to buy new sunglasses. I lost a pair of Army Oakleys two weeks ago then today I lost my backup Army pair at breakfast. They were on my tray and when we leave the DFAC we dump the tray into one of 10 trash cans in rows of five on either side of the exit hallway. I started to ride away, realized where my glasses were then went back. But I could not remember which trash can I had dumped my tray in. I tried to remember, but as I stood there another soldier dumped his tray about every five seconds. I gave up and bought new ones.

Anyway, on the ride over to the PX the bike thermometer said 133 degrees. The air was very still just before I left, which may be why the temp was so high. As I left the motor pool, a wind kicked up and in a mile the temp reading had dropped to 127, a nice cooling breeze--from a blow dryer.

And here are photos of me with a gun on my GT Peace 9R bike. It's not easy to read the logo, but it is the word Peace with an anarchist A--just the thing for a war!




Saturday, July 25, 2009

Awards

For the last two weeks, along with my other duties, I have become the squad leader for 4th squad and have been writing awards. Earlier this month I was writing achievement awards for several soldiers who were exceptional in the first month after we arrived in Iraq. Now I am writing what are called service awards--awards for the entire deployment. "But wait!" One might say, "Aren't you just half way through your deployment? How can you write an award for the period from now until when you leave?"

That's easy. I project. I assume that the best conduct and performance I have seen over the first six months will continue and write the award accordingly. The more specific and fact based the award justification is, the better the chance it will go through. Many of the soldiers in my unit have already done some very good things and achieved some of their goals, so there is a lot to write about. And for the rest of the deployment, if I am wrong and the soldier in question were to become "Low Speed and High Drag" (Here and in NASCAR High Speed and Low Drag describes the top performers.) then the award could be withdrawn before it is given. It is much easier to cut an award at the last minute than create one.

And if you ask, "What if one of our soldiers rescues three babies and five kittens from a burning building?" or a similar act of gallantry. Before the kittens can lick the soot from their fur, someone can write an achievement award for a specific act of bravery that can be given in addition to the service award.

So most, if not all, soldiers are at least recommended for a service award. My wife and other professors could explain why. It's a lot like grade inflation. If someone serves a whole year on deployment and does not get an award, there is some reason for a future promotion or evaluation board to believe that soldier is below standard. As with Lake Woebegone Minnesota, all the soldiers are above average, so nearly everyone gets a service award.

If you think that is bad, consider the situation on my deployment back in the 1970s. Back then combat soldiers who were simply doing their jobs watching the border got no awards. But the higher headquarters staff all got awards. I know this because I got a couple of certificates for distinguished tank gunnery while serving as a tank commander for nearly two of my three years in Germany. But at the end of my deployment, I worked in public affairs full time and got soldiers in our brigade in the Stars and Stripes newspaper and all over the post newspaper. For that I got an Army Commendation Medal. I think it's better now that nearly everyone gets a medal than the situation before when mostly the rear-area guys got the medals.

Friday, July 24, 2009

TV in the Chapel Annex

I mentioned in a previous post that one of the marriage conversations took place in God's Grounds--the free coffee shop in the Adder Chapel annex. It is run by chaplain's assistants and other volunteers. The other place to get coffee is and actual coffee shop called Green Beans about a mile away.

I go to Green Beans every day for a half hour between work and the evening ride to read a book and drink a latte. I could go to God's Grounds and drink espresso for free, but if I did, I would have to sit near a big-screen TV with 24/7 Simpsons and animated movies. At Green Beans, they play music on the side of the shop where the coffee is made, but the side with the couches is for reading and conversation.

The conversation I had with guy telling me his wife was his best friend and they share no interests took place with me sitting with my back to the TV and us talking over the TV. There are books in the room where the TV is, but no one picks them up. The TV is loud.

So I go to the commercial coffee place because it is quiet and avoid God's Grounds in the Chapel because of the noise. I would think it odd, except Green beans is run by young Indian men with university education who value conversation. God's Grounds is run by Americans who value cartoons.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Argument Update and Marriage Conversations

Later, after the tax argument, Sergeant Arch Conservative came to me to ask if we we could set up one of the standard gym exercise bikes that reads watts generated to Army PT test standard which requires setting a special bike to 20 Newtons of resistance. It is not a straight conversion. He did not want to deal with that calculation. A few minutes later, we were outside and I asked Sergeant AC if he has this much trouble with math, how can he be absolutely sure (he has loudly told me this on another occasion) the earth is 10,000 years old, evolution never happened and every scientist from Darwin and Einstein to the present is wrong--while he and the Creation Museum are right.

His answer: "Paper birch trees are growing wild in Pennsylvania Sergeant Gussman. They are a northern tree. The earth is not getting warmer. Global warming is wrong. Those scientists don't know everything."

And now to marriage. I was sitting in God's Grounds--a free cafe in the chapel annex. I get coffee there in the mornings. I would stay there more than a minute or two, but being a Godly place in the Army, the Simpsons and other animated movies play 24/7.
So one of the chaplain's assistants, an older guy, is looking at a National Geographic. He says he is going to take his wife on an adventure tour of Peru when he gets back from deployment. "It costs $2000 per person, but it will be worth. The experience of a lifetime. I have always wanted to do it."
I said, "Wow. That sounds great. Are you making plans now? Is she excited?"
He answers, "No. She hates stuff like this. But I go shopping with her, so she can go. It's only two weeks."
He went on to explain how he and his wife are best friends.

A guy I ride with a couple of days a week borrows one of my bikes to ride with me. He got her just before I went on leave and decided last week to ask his wife to send a mountain bike he has at home here to Iraq. She refused. She said he should buy a bike there and not ship a bike to Iraq--he'll just have to ship it back. The two-way mailing cost will be $150 plus whatever the bike shop charges to pack the bike in a box. Chances are they will do it for free for a soldier in Iraq.

Anyway, he does not want to argue with his wife and he recently got a $1000 through an error in a travel voucher, so he is probably going to buy a new bike and have it shipped directly here rather than argue. "She'll never know," he said.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Arguing in the Motor Pool

Earlier I had an argument that would only happen here, at least in my life. I was walking out the latrine near our motor pool and an old sergeant in third platoon was walking in. I said hello and he launched into the latest government ripoff.
"Sergeant Gussman, your buddy Ed Rendell just raised my taxes 16% in Pennsylvania."
He stopped at the urinal and began to multitask. I was glad to be near the door.
"That means he's taking 16 dollars out of every hundred I make. What do you think of that?"
I exited fearing he would lose concentration and some problem would ensue.
When he came outside I said, "Take it easy Sergeant (Arch Conservative) a 16% tax increase on a 2.65% tax is an increase of about 40 CENTS per hundred dollars."
He sputtered, "CNN said 16% and that means $16 per hundred." Then he calmed down and blamed CNN for misleading him.
He is still upset at Ed Rendell and at CNN and I suppose at me for ruining his perfectly good attack on "those damned Liberals."

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

Ran Out of Books Tonight

Tonight was week two of the Tallil Dead Poet's Society and I ran out of the free copies of Inferno (translated by Tony Esolen) and supplied by Nick Jost and by the father of one of the lieutenants in our unit. For this evening's session everyone read the first five cantos. For the most part the dozen people in the room believe in Hell as a literal place, but there were fewer who believed it is like Dante's Hell in the sense of all torment all the time. And no one believed in Limbo--the people who did neither good not evil. We are all too much Americans and have enough of the Protestant thought pattern that no one can conceive of a life apart from good and evil.

Many of the group did not like "Abandon All Hope You Who Enter Here" on the arch of the entrance to Hell. They want an escape route.

Less than half the group have read any of Dante in the past, but I already have four people who expressed a strong wish that Virgil get reprieve. They hope that at some point his good deed as guide will get him a pass out of Hell. Among the group are skeptics, Bible students, a chaplain and some soldiers trying to deal with issues relating to the religion they were brought up with.

One woman asked when I mentioned evil who gets to decide what is evil. I answered "Dante. We are in his universe." This actually lead to a discussion of the poets art and creating universes. This evening was a lot of fun.

Monday, July 20, 2009

More Chicken Shit

I was going to let this subject go, but today I was talking with another soldier about the latest rule and remembered that as Chicken Shit takes over, the divide between higher and lower ranks becomes more obvious.

The latest rule says No Tactical Vehicles are allowed to park next to Living Areas. The reason given is that there have been minor collisions between tactical and Non Tactical Vehicles (NTVs). Tactical vehicles are Humvees and the bigger trucks soldiers ride in to go to work, especially when several soldiers work the same hours in a remote area. NTVs are the air-conditioned SUVs and Crew-Cab pickup trucks used by first sergeants, sergeant majors and higher-ranking officers. So when I ride back to my living area, I pass through two rows of gray and white SUVs on the way to my room. So those who drive NTVs walk out of their rooms and drive to work. Those who live in an area without tactical vehicle parking walk to the bus stop.

Whether the intent of the rule is to inconvenience soldiers and benefit officers, the result is just that. Of course, this is nothing new. Again quoting my uncle Jack:

"I don't want to overplay this old soldier bit but the CS entry hit home. When I attended Squadron Officers' School (SOS) in 1966 it was a hotbed of daily CS. They valued themselves very highly. Something I've never forgotten was a loooonng wall of shelves in the Air University library filled end to end with looseleaf notebooks, to a height of 7 or 8 feet. The notebooks contained all the regs and policies of the Air Force from HQ at the Pentagon down through Major Command, numbered Air Force, Air Division. Below that Wing and base level stuff was not on file.
The Air Force at all levels tried to have a reg or policy for every possible situation. Of course they failed, but they never stopped trying so far as I know."

In French the expression that corresponds with CS is enculage de mouche . Literally it means the person in question is having a very unhealthy relationship with a housefly, but the common meaning is giving too much importance to small details. I suppose every country with a military has an equivalent expression to CS.

Sunday, July 19, 2009

The Loaves and the Fishes

At Chapel this morning the Gospel reading was Mark Chapter 6, the story of the loaves and the fishes. The chaplain said this was an example of good leadership on the part of the Lord, but not the disciples. The Lord looked on the multitude with compassion. The disciples said "How are we going to feed all of them?" The chaplain said the disciples were like a group of sergeants who look out at a crowd of soldiers who did not bring enough MREs and grumble about having to share their field rations with unprepared troops.

He converted the metaphor to military. "We are all leaders." Localizing this story reminded me of a retelling of the parable of the Good Samaritan I heard at an inner city Church. The African-American pastor retold the story with the victim from the neighborhood being pistol whipped and left for dead on the street in front of the Church. Those who passed by were a local pastor and a football player from the neighborhood with an NFL Contract. The Good Samaritan was a Man from the whitest, richest local suburb.

At the end of the story, the pastor, in a resounding voice, asked the children assembled at the front of the congregation, "Who is this man's neighbor?" The reply came from a smiling little girl who said, "The Football Player!" The congregation broke up with laughter. But the real point had been made. The pastor put most unlikely man in the role of the Samaritan.

The parables and stories, retold in this way, are delightful.

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Writing About Soldiers

For the last week I have been splitting my time between resuming my duties as Sergeant Tool Bitch in Echo Company (issuing high value tools from a central tool area) and writing brief vignettes about some of the soldiers in the battalion. Since the higher headquarters (brigade) wants photos also, they gave me a motor-drive NIKON SLR camera with an 18 to 200mm telephoto lens to do take pictures. I don't know much about current camera, but one of my buddies who saw the camera said it costs $3500 new and is "Awesome."

In the course of these brief interviews I have learned a lot more about the soldiers in Echo Company and as I move to other companies, about their soldiers. One of the helicopter mechanics I spoke with got fishing gear shipped from the states. One his day off, he fishes on one of the two ponds on Water Street where the water storage and water treatment plants are located. So far he has caught a catfish more than three feet long. He threw it back but it is strange to think someone is fishing in this dust bowl.

Returning to the chicken shit theme from earlier this week, I took off my Livestrong bracelet yesterday. The directive I spoke about does not allow cancer survivor bracelets, only MIA and KIA bracelets. I have worn that yellow polymer bracelet since 2001. Actually the original one broke in 2003 but the current one, though thin, is still in one circular piece and in a drawer until we go to a less chicken shit command. Although I will be putting it back on in a week if Lance wins his eighth tour. Just for the day.

A first sergeant in one of the communications units who is on his sixth deployment including the Gulf War was talking about how the uniform is the way we show we are soldiers. By complying with the current uniform SOP we show that we are ready to do whatever is necessary when the time comes. He is also taking an on-line college course in writing and is one of the few senior NCOs I have met who really wants to learn to write. He is not taking the course just to meet a requirement for his next promotion.

Friday, July 17, 2009

All the Way Across Iowa and other Blogs

If you down my blog roll you will see blogs I follow for various reasons, but mostly for their odd perspective on some part of life that I care about. For the next couple of weeks, the blog posts I most anticipate enjoying will be on Adventure Across Iowa in which my friend Kristine Chin, a New York editor and event manager, will write about she and her husband Rick riding a tandem across Iowa in July with 15,000 other people.


Thunder Run
is another excellent site. It's the only military blog I have on my blog roll because it brings together many other good milblogs, so it is one-stop shopping for interesting perspectives on the wars we fight and the warriors who fight them.

On a completely different note, if you have ever doubted, suffered, or torn your whole life up by the roots and started over, you will probably enjoy Meredith Gould, a Jewish sociologist who took a tortuous path to becoming a Catholic author. Her most recent post, the link above, may be one of the best things she has written about the paradox of living faith.

For weirdness by people who publish in scientific journals, the Annals of Improbable Research blog will introduce you the people who study the medical side-effects of sword-swallowing, who electronically modified the sound of a potato chip to make the person chewing the chip believe it to be crisper and fresher than it really is, who demonstrated that high-priced fake medicine is more effective than low-priced fake medicine, and who discovered that professional lap dancers earn higher tips when they are ovulating.

More later. . .

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Calling Home During Viet Nam

My Uncle Jack who served in Viet Nam and other parts of South East Asia for several years between 1965 and 1974, had this response to my post on stress:

I was intrigued by your blog about stress. This is completely opposite my experience during remote interludes in the years 1965 to 1974. As late as 1974 calling home from Thailand was impossible. When if you got to the Philippines you had an opportunity. Even then it was a hassle: Go to a special location, file a request with a clerk to call a certain stateside number, then wait. When the call went through you'd be summoned and directed to a booth to which the call would be connected. Then for, as I recall, a dollar a minute you could talk for a limited time, say ten minutes. Pretty much things were even worse in Greenland and other garden spots SAC (Strategi Air Command) populated. There was no internet/email.

In those circumstances it was impossible to be involved in the daily life of your family at home. They had to solve their own problems--or, more likely, create them. As a junior officer of modest means writing a check from the joint account you shared with your wife took two weeks or more of coordination via snail mail. This was in an era when bouncing a check was a serious offense. Of course, trusting your spouse to actually balance the checkbook and keep you from doing that was a stressful gamble. On-line checking didn't exist.

I never considered the circumstances families now face: more or less instant communication and the blessing or burden of participating from a distance. I imagine there is lots of real-time involvement, "Where did you put the vacuum cleaner bags? I can't find them anywhere!" "Do you know what your son did now?!"

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Safe at Tallil


If the current crop of email memos is any indicator, we are stationed at a very safe part of Iraq. The new garrison command is making changes, that's what new garrison commands do. In one recent memo we got uniform standards including sock length with the PT uniform, when we are allowed to wear a specific uniform shirt in the chow hall and when we can't and whether or not we can wear MIA, Cancer Survivor, Livestrong and other rubber bracelets. There are new security standards for weapons taken into the gym and so forth. Minutiae written out at great length in the military is usually referred to as Chicken Shit (yet another use of that word).
Answers.com says:
1. Contemptibly petty or insignificant. For example, He has spent his life making up chicken shit rules that nobody follows anyway. This expression gained currency during World War II, when it was often applied to the enforcement of petty and disagreeable military regulations. [Vulgar slang; c. 1930]
2. Cowardly, as in You're not too chicken shit to come along, are you? [Vulgar slang; mid-1940s]
In this case we are only using Definition One.
The good side of this for your father, mother, brother, sister, spouse or other loved one stationed here is that their is an inverse relationship between CS and danger. After all, if there were immanent threats, the garrison is there to protect us. For most soldiers the increase in CS is a strong indicator that the enemy is remote.

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Nigel Update


Nigel's room is getting a Spiderman makeover.


He also got a wardrobe addition with a new Sponge Bob Square Pants bicycling jersey.


And finally Nigel got an Army haircut.

Monday, July 13, 2009

Half of 2009 by the Numbers

Today I passed 3000 miles riding--more than I thought I would have ridden by now. So I figured I could do a short numbers update. In addition to riding 3000 miles in just over 6 months, I have lived (in the sense of having some type of domicile for a week or more) in three countries:
United States
Kuwait
Iraq
Two states: Pennsylvania and Oklahoma
Four Army Forts/Bases:
Fort Sill
Camp Buehring
Tallil Ali Air Base
Ali Al Salim Air Base
This blog has more readers than ever. When I started it, I wanted to give my friends a way to keep up with what I was doing without me sending emails they might not want. IF they wanted to read the blog they could. Last June I put Site Meter on the the blog. That month I got 370 visits and 503 page views. June of this year there were 4378 visits and 5681 page views. People from all six continents look at the blog. I guess an old guy in the American Army is weird enough to make a New Zealander laugh. In any case, The blog has had just over 26,000 visits since last June, making my blog almost as popular in a year as Hannah Montana is for 112 seconds!

I have had two glasses of wine and four beers since January 29 when I got activated. So the "no alcohol" policy is not much of a hardship. There are other activities I am only able to participate in during leave and pass that I will not count and also miss a lot more than more than Guiness Stout or Pinot Noir.

I have watched two movies since I was deployed. Both at the insistence of my roommate who worried that I would be completely culturally illiterate without having seen: "Full Metal Jacket" and "300."

Oh and I did watch the first 16 episodes of "24" while we were in Oklahoma. Since I am still here, I assume Jack Bauer saved the world.

That's all the numbers for now.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Music at the Laundry


Three or four days each week I drop off or pick up clothes at a laundry run by three young men from India. It's a great serve. Drop off up to 20 pieces and 1 to 3 days later it returns clean and folded. The three men are polite and soft spoken. They almost always have music on while they work. Mostly it is Indian music, usually upbeat and not too loud. Today while I was sorting and counting my clothes with the guy at the counter, I noticed the music was different. The beat was calypso. Then I heard the words. Or at least I heard the word motherf#^ker repeated several times. I turned toward the music and the two guys who were sorting a large pile of laundry. One smiled and said, "You like sir?" I smiled back and started laughing. The guy at the counter speaks English well and said something that got the other two laughing--and they turned the song down.
I went back to my CHU and told my roommate about the song. He knew right away that the song was "P.I.M.P" by 50 Cent. You can google it if you want the lyrics or the video. He had some laundry to drop off so he walked up to the laundry to hear it himself. He said when he went in the door "they were playing some other [song]." But as soon as he was inside they switched to P.I.M.P.

Stress in a War Zone

A few days ago I went to a meeting at the base chapel about stress. In particular "Does your family back home raise or lower your stress level?" Since this was a group discussion about stress, I could assume people who were stressed out would attend. I was not quite prepared for how much soldiers are stressed out by their families back home. For much of the hour, I listened to folks who dread the calls home because their parents/significant others are worried sick about them and can't be easily persuaded to talk about anything else. (My family does what they can to keep me informed about their lives and tell me some of the funny things that happen in their lives.)

The conversation that got the most nods of recognition was telling Mom that the attack in Baghdad they saw on TV was 300 miles away and had nothing to do with our base. And once they get Mom calmed down, things will be fine until the next time Mom watches the news then they have to go through the same litany again. The significant other/spouse problems are money/kids/in-laws in roughly that order. You know from earlier posts that soldiers get stressed out about different things than civilians--see Bitching at Breakfast.

But it is sad to think with all the free and nearly free ways we can keep in touch with home from Iraq, a lot of soldiers don't call because it is too painful to talk to their families. Almost everyone present said talking to friends back home was great.

In a sadder post script, I told one of my old sergeant buddies about the meeting. He is a conservative and said something about the problem is that none of the young people make long term commitments and suffer though hard times and etc. etc. But a half hour earlier he told me when I come to visit the new outpost where he is being assigned, don't write anything on my blog about how they get hit with mortars more than our current base. This is also a guy who has mentioned off and on since we first got activated about how worried his wife is about the deployment. He seems to spend a lot of time on the phone reassuring her.

I have had other people tell me not to write anything about attacks or anything else that is dangerous on my blog because their spouse/mom/sister reads it and gets worried.

Also at the meeting, no one mentioned being stressed out by work. One of the odd things our schedule does is give workaholics a chance to live life the way they want to without guilt. Many people work seven days a week even when they get a day off and work well past whatever time their shift officially ends. When I had a corporate job, some of my co-workers made a show of saying they didn't like the long hours and travel, but privately they said they really did. They like accomplishing things. Here, the workaholic can put all the rest of life on hold and work day and night!

Saturday, July 11, 2009

NOT in Utica

Sorry if I was unclear. The Boilermaker is being run BOTH in Utica and on Tallil Ali Air Base. I just finished being the pace bike here in Tallil. The winning runner finished in just over 56 minutes for 15k (9.3 miles). After doing the pace lap, I rode around the course again because there were road guards and I could go through all the stop signs. Almost 400 soldiers and airmen ran. It was a big event. This is the same course I will use for the Labor Day weekend bike race when I get final approval--hopefully soon!

Speaking of contests, my John Wayne Clerihew poem is officially 2nd place to Bette Davis. Here's the poem:
John Wayne
Got shot in movies and barely felt pain
In Iraq I am miserable just from being hot
Those movie soldiers are a tougher lot.

Thanks to all who voted. Especially to those of you, like Kristine, who voted for my Clerihew even when she actually liked the Bette Davis one better. I got up at 0345 for the race. I am going to breakfast!!

Friday, July 10, 2009

Priority List

I am getting closer and closer to corporate America except I have no wardrobe and, well, the other things I don't have when my home life is sharing a room in a trailer with a mechanic. As of my return to the land of heat and brown air, I have a computer that is attached to the battalion server. It runs Outlook. I had several meetings today at different locations and duly filled in the calendar items so the soldiers in my chain of command can know where I am or will be. I will be filling in all my current projects in the Outlook Tasks section.

But then there's the fun part of having more to write about. In the next few weeks I will be flying to our biggest and our newest fueling areas. The new one is fairly close by so I will be able to fly there and back in a Blackhawk. The other one is very far away which means flying in an Air Force plane or a CH-47 Chinook. The weather has been so bad I am not looking forward to the longer trip. It's just a few hundred miles, but my roommate got stuck part way back from there for nearly two weeks!

And on a completely different note, voting has been extended to midnight Eastern time tonight (0700 Saturday here) in the Clerihew contest. I am still in second place. No matter how many people Daria, Sarah and my daughter Lisa get to vote for me, the Bette Davis fans seem to get just as many. But I am only five votes back and still have a chance.

Tomorrow I will be pace bike for the 15k Boilermaker race held here and in Utica NY. Almost 400 people are running.

Thursday, July 9, 2009

The Bike Guy

When I first got to Tallil Ali Air Base, I met a sergeant in public affairs who rides daily and told me that if I ever had a problem with a bike, I should call/email Larry--a civilian computer technician who is retired military and really likes working on bikes.

It turns out Larry is also a very personable guy who is happy to help soldiers. Like most civilians here he works 12 to 14 hour shifts with a day or two off each month, so his time is limited. But when he can he works on bikes. While I was home on leave, Larry trued my out-of-round front wheel on the single-speed road bike and cleaned it up. Then when the mountain bike arrived, the rear disc brake rotor had been bent in transit. He could not straighten it completely with the tools he has, but it is nearly perfect now in a less-than-perfect environment.

Military communities like this one are very much communities in ways that most American communities are not. We need each other. And those of us who ride bikes are a small community within a community. One of our soldiers had a bike with its gears clogged with sand. I gave the bike to Larry. He will take all the parts from it to use to fix other bikes.

On another bike subject, today the air was calm and the sky was clear at 130pm when I rode to chow. The temp was 129. A half-hour later, the wind was a steady 20mph out of the west, the sky was full of dust, bluish brown with the sun's light going to orange. The temp got cooler. It was only 126 on the way back from lunch!!

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Bike with a Thermometer

When Bill and Jeremiah at Bike Line put my new bike together, they insisted I get a cycling computer with a thermometer built in. Today I rode a lot all through the day so it's a good opportunity to track the temperature as I ride.
Total miles: 42
Highest temp: 126
Lowest temp: 88

0545--I ride from my CHU (Containerized Housing Unit or trailer if you prefer) to the House of Pain Gym. I am Pace Bike for the weekly 5k race. Temp is 88 (all readings in Fahrenheit). I am wearing Army PT shorts and t-shirt.
0600--Race begins. 90 degrees.
0620--Race ends. 92
0630--I ride the 10.7-mile loop around post. Begin temp 92. End temp at the DFAC (Chow Hall) 99 at 0710.
0745--105 degrees. I ride to my CHU, shower and change and go to the company headquarters.
0900--ride to company headquarters. 108 degrees wen I leave, 109 when I arrive, 1.5 mile trip. Uniform is ACU (fatigues) with rifle and pack.
0930--ride to south side of base for 1000 meeting. temp is 110 when I leave. Uniform is ACU (fatigues) with rifle and pack. Same uniform for the rest of the day.
1000--lock the bike before the meeting. Temp is 113.
1245pm--finished meeting and follow-up appointment for my heel. (Keep stretching sergeant!) 122 degrees. Ride 1.5 miles to DFAC temp is 124 when I arrive.
130pm--ride to main area from DFAC. Start temp 122. High temp on 3-mile ride 126.
2pm--ride to motor pool. 122 degrees. By the end of the 1/2-mile trip, 124 degrees. Uniform is still ACU (fatigues) with rifle and pack.
530pm--ride from motor pool to coffee shop. 1 mile. 109 degrees.
615pm--ride around post. Back to PTs (shorts and t-shirt. ahhhhh!) 108 degrees
710pm--get weapon, ride to supper. 104 degrees. (sunset in 10 minutes)
815pm--back to the CHU 99 degrees.

Each time I ride in midday the temp goes up as I ride. It seems that the bike suffers the same fate as my hands--above 115 degrees the breeze makes my hands feel warmer because it is hot air blowing on me. When I ride in the morning and evening, I average about 16mph on the mountain bike and 18mph on the road bike. At midday, I ride between 9 and 11 mph unless the winds are high like today, then I ride 7mph into the wind and 15mph with the wind at my back. No hard efforts when the temp is above 110.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

News Updates

Tomorrow I go to the second meeting for my newest additional duty job. My new job is to be the public affairs sergeant for the battalion I am in--that's the group of 600 soldiers. I am already doing the same thing for my company--100 soldiers. I do not know what level of work it will mean beyond what I am doing already.

Sometime this month I will be going to some of the remote sites where our fuelers work. Best case is I will be flying in a Blackhawk. It should be fun however it works out and I will get to see the folks who I haven't seen for nearly two months.

My roommate returns soon. Nice guy, but it has been fun to have a room to myself. I have three seasons of The Wire on DVD which he wanted to watch. I have seasons 1, 3 and 4. I might ask Santa Claus for seasons 2 and 5. It's an HBO original if you have never seen it.

My daughters are back from summer vacation. In Switzerland Lisa ran up a six-mile mountain road in Grindelwald. She wrote: "A lot of people were string at me and someone actually said something along the lines of 'you must be a tourist cause locals aren't dumb enough to run up the mountain...we take the bus'." The local folks are just the same in the Alps or Arkansas. From the first part of the trip: "We saw 3 'don't have to ask and very easy to tell cross dressed men in Paris.' So, they won't be flying over and joining the American Army any time soon. They were actually quite impressive, like platform shoes, short tu-tus with fishnets, blonde wigs and all. One actually had a floral dress and hot pink leather jacket on...."

If you read my very first posts from when I came back to the Army, I was in charge of the $250,000 tool box called the Forward Recovery System (FRS). It's my baby again. On Saturday, I will sign for all 42 pages of inventory of more than 1,000 tools. So keeping the FRS in working order will be my actual day job. That means I am Sergeant Tool Bitch again.

The new GT single-speed mountain bike is much better on the roads and rocks here, but it is tiring to push those 29-inch wide wheels.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Vote Early and Often

While I was waiting for a plane to take be back to Iraq I wrote a four-line verse for a contest by Robin Abrahams, the Boston Globe's Miss Conduct. Voting is now open. If you want to see what kind of verse I write in a tent in Kuwait, and better yet if you want to make me a the only poetry contest winner in my unit here in Iraq, please follow the link and vote.

By the end of the 2nd week in America I was beginning to think my bone spur problem was improving. All day today I worked in the motor pool walking on rocks. The improvement was because I was away from the rocks. I am back to limping now. So I will return to sick call and continue whatever procedure I have to go through to get the bone spur removed.

We are already planning the next issue of the Echo Company Newsletter. I can't post PDFs on the blog because of restrictions on blogger.com, but if you want a copy, let me know and I will email it to you. ngussman@gmail.com.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Back to Tallil

At 0730 this morning we were told to return at 0820 with our bags. We would be flying by 1130! I packed up and told the guy on the top bunk I had packed up before and would be reclaiming my bottom bunk if the flight was cancelled. He promised to be ready to move and I was off to the next formation. We waited in a tent for a couple of hours and then we loaded our gear, loaded on the bus and we were off to load up on a jet for a very short flight.

On the bus I sat with a 23-year-old regular Army soldier returning to duty after R&R leave like me. Unlike me, he is on his second deployment and is planning on being deployed to Afghanistan. His current job is body guard for a colonel. Last deployment he was on convoy duty. Five times he had a vehicle blown out from under him by an IED. He has been temporarily blinded by concussion and has shrapnel lodged in a couple of places, but, at least by his own standards, he is OK. After his next deployment, probably ground combat if he gets the assignment he is looking for, he plans to get out of the Army and go to college to work on computer networks.

"I figure three deployments will be enough," he said. He will finish his third tour at the ripe old age of 25.

Back at Tallil, my new bike was waiting in the post office. I signed for it, put it together but because of a sandstorm, I decided not to ride around the base and cleaned up my dust-filled room instead. My roommate is still away at another base, so the CHU was unoccupied for a month and got very dusty. More tomorrow.

May 9: Soviet Victory and One-Third of My Broken Bones

May is a big day in my life--and for those who still celebrate the victory of the Soviet Union over the Nazis.  While I am happy the Soviets...