Wednesday, August 12, 2015
Paula Poundstone Embarassed Me in Iraq!
Six years ago this month, Paula Poundstone made me collapse laughing. She went on a rant about Pop Tarts on "Wait Wait Don't Tell Me." It was so funny I literally fell on my face. You can listen to her stand-up pop tart rant here.
It wasn't a long fall. I wasn't hurt. Except my dignity. I was working out in the House of Pain Gym on Camp Adder in Iraq. I was 56 years old. I was surrounded by weight lifters in their 20s and 30s bench pressing 300+ pounds and listening to speed metal music. I was listening to the "Wait Wait" podcast on my iPod. It took 40 minutes to download on the anemic Camp Adder internet.
I had done just 10 of the 60 pushups I usually do when the host disparaged Pop Tarts as junk food. Paula was outraged!!! She went into a 2-minute rant on how Pop Tarts were in fact the secret of her good health and the greatest food ever. On pushup 21 I collapsed laughing.
With the rant still on full tilt, I looked up and saw a couple of beefy metal heads looking at me. More specifically they were looking at the old guy on the floor who collapsed doing pushups and was shaking. They didn't know I was laughing. For a second, I imagined myself trying to explain that I was listening to NPR and not Metal Music, then my senses returned.
I paused the rant, got up, and pretended I was done. We could not wear headphones outside, so I grabbed my gear and walked over to my CHU (home) so I could finish listening to the podcast without looking like an old guy having a heart attack.
Clearly, Paula Poundstone made that rant on purpose just to embarrass me in the "House of Pain."